By Fr Hervé Morissette, CSC –
There is no minimum age for prayer. When your children hear you praying, even if they do not yet speak, they can sense that you are relating with Someone who is greater than you. Your children learn how to pray by look- ing at you, even if they are not yet able to make the sign of the cross. They can look at the lamp before the crucifix or the statue of Our Lady, they can kiss a small cross or a rosary. I saw that happening many times in some of the families I visited in Bangalore and Mumbai.
You can pray a ‘Hail Mary’ with devotion and that prayer will slowly sink into the hearts of your children by immersion, as if they were learning the mother tongue of prayer and love. It is through tenderness that children discover that God is love. That is why Jesus reminded his disciples that they should always be ready to welcome children.
The best time
It is always preferable to pray together for a little while every day rather than have a longer family prayer only once a week. Yet it is better to have occasional family prayer than never to have it. That is why you may choose the right time when the family can get together to pray for a few minutes and place itself in the presence of the Lord.
There is no ideal time for family prayer. I noticed, from the experience of a few young couples who are doing it, that it is easier to pray together just before the children go to bed, even if they are tired. Yet that does not prevent you from showing your children how they can offer the new day to God soon after they rise in the morning.
In the evening, it may happen that your husband or your wife has not yet returned from work, when you gather the children for prayer, but don’t worry about that. You can still have a family prayer. If you have to skip it for a few days, don’t think that family prayer is not meant for you. In prayer, we are all beginners, whether we pray alone, together as a couple or with the children.
Sometimes, family prayer turns out to be quite a feat. Those who do it know from experience. For example, every child may want to light the lamp or the candle. One says: “It’s my turn. Suresh did it yesterday.” You make the sign of the cross and sing a hymn, but one child is sulky with you, the other plays with his rosary and the teenager bursts out laughing. So, you have to be patient. You don’t live in a monastery, but you can recollect yourselves in prayer for a few moments and in your own way. You can pray spontaneously and invite your children to do the same. You may be surprised to see how well they can do it. One may say: “Thank you, Jesus, for the beautiful day we had.” Another: “Help mummy and daddy to love each other all the time,” or “Forgive me, Jesus, for shouting at my sister this morning.”
A small girl, after receiving her first holy communion, was asked by her parents what she had done when she reached back to her pew and bowed her head prayerfully. She hesitated for a moment and then said in her soft voice: “I prayed to Jesus for mummy and daddy and for my sister Helen and my brother George. Then I recited the letters of the alphabet and told him a ghost story.” As you see, you can teach your children how they can pray for those they met during the day, especially those who suffer.
You will also show your children how to pray by being patient with them in the presence of the Lord. God loves them and acts in their lives, even when they are agitated. Don’t be disturbed by the externals or the appearances. God loves your children as they are and communicates with them in his own way when you pray together.
To be continued…