3rd Year ICM Anniversary Special: God Writes Straight on Crooked Lines

By Fr Trevor D’souza, OFM –

This is a brief account of my vocation story, how God writes straight on the crooked lines of our lives. This article is for Indian Catholic Matters on their 3rd anniversary.

I hail from the city of Belgaum, Karnataka, born in 1960, the 10th child in a family of 12 children to my parents John and Theresa D’Souza.

In the final year of school, the first seeds of priestly vocation entered my mind. Two years later, during a personal directed retreat things became clear. While pursuing my studies, I continued to discern and with each passing year things became more clearer.

The end of life was an important consideration in my discernment. I would often ask myself the question, what then? I would question myself. So, after you complete graduation, what then? After you complete higher studies, what then?  After you begin working, earn money, have a comfortable life, what then? What then? What then?… I realized, no matter how much wealth, status, prosperity, one achieves in life there will always be an emptiness that cannot be filled. This void can be filled only by the God. I also realized that only the termination of life in God will bring an end to this never ending question, what then?

Later, I successfully completed the CA course, and immediately joined the Franciscans (Order of Friars Minor). My family members, friends and colleagues were surprised by my decision. Here I was standing on the threshold of a lucrative career and a prosperous life, and …. Many questions were posed to me. Why the Franciscans?  Why not the Jesuits? You haven’t met any Franciscan before, then why them? Do you know their poor life style?  … I did not have answers for others, but for myself things were clear.

I knew deep down in my heart, that it had to be only the Franciscans and not any other religious group. More questions kept pouring in. What are you going to with knowledge and degree you received as a CA? A question posed even by my Provincial? To this questions my answer was, I don’t know, God alone knows. What I know is that God does not waste any talent and resource that he has given to us. He will make use of it.

Many years later, some others wanted to know, how would I consider tax collection compatible with the Franciscan way of life? How would I be able to reconcile my work as a CA and the precepts of the Gospel?  To answer this question I wrote an article titled, ‘Transforming a Career into a Gospel Ministry’. Though these are seemingly two irreconcilable realities, as a matter of fact, they are not. If one has his eyes firmly fixed on the gospel values, then the road is always straight!

After I was ordained in 1993, my first appointment was Assistant in the parish. I had also to prepare myself to go to Germany for studies in theology. But as God would have his way, our Provincial Treasurer, died on 27th September 1993. I was requested to take over his job, and suddenly found myself in Bangalore!

Two major events that shaped my life.

In 1995, under providential circumstances, I received an opportunity to put my knowledge, received through the CA course, at the service of the Church of India. I started a seminar-cum-training programme in accounts and legal matters for Church personnel and church-based organizations. It’s 25 years now, this course is still running successfully. This work has become a gospel ministry in itself, supporting other gospel ministries.

Then, in 1999, on the 75th birthday of my mother, my family gifted her a public charitable trust for the benefit of the poor and needy, called We Care. I got involved to give it a legal structure and also guide its management. This was another God given opportunity, as the Lord fulfilled my long-cherished dream of working with and for the poor. In the past 21 years I have witnessed the generosity of God in ways unknown to me.

I believed that God works in our lives in patterns and the pattern He has been weaving in my life is based on a 25-year span.

Biological Family Life. During the first 25 years of my life: family life and studies. In retrospect, I now realize how those years became foundation stones of what the Lord was planning. The Psalmist says, “Happy the man who prepares the arrows and keeps them in his quiver to be used at the appropriate moment” (127:4-5) and “the Lord prepares our hands for battle” (141:1). The Lord was already preparing me for His mission.

Spiritual Family Life. Joined the Franciscan Order at 25 and spent the second span till age 50 in the service of the Province and Church. I was involved in administration and accounts, training programmes, retreats, counseling, and other pastoral works.

Universal Family Life. Acts 1:8 always fascinated me. How is it possible to take God’s Word to the ends of the earth? Through the internet, ofcourse!!! In what may be my last and final phase, beginning at 50, the Lord has drawn me into the ministry of the Word (preaching, teaching and writing). In order to take His word to the ends of the earth, I began various initiatives such as e-bible study group (e-jesus and jc4me), reflections on gospel passages through the Whatsapp and Facebook, E-Bible Study Programme, JC4ME Children’s Corner (an E-Mag), Zoom Bible Study Fellowship Evening, Drink Water From Your Own Well (Vinay Silva), Punchline Audio (Nikita Menezes), and much more. It is amazing how one can be an evangelizer by sitting in one’s room in one corner of the earth!!!

Conclusion:  In 2018, was my silver jubilee as a Franciscan priest, a time to reflect on the faithfulness of God in my life. In 2020, I turned 60, marking it as a year of Reconciliation. Now in 2020, I have been appointed by the Holy Father, as a Missionary of Mercy, to proclaim and share God’s merciful love, especially through the sacrament of reconciliation.

God be blessed for His marvelous graciousness, especially the wonderful work achieved through Indian Catholic Matters in the past three years!