Tom Thomas –
“Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you” Saint Augustine
“There is a five-day residential retreat coming up, I think you should attend.” my wife urges me. She was travelling on that date for a function and could not attend.
“I cannot take the time off, let me think about it later,” I put this request off.
Surprisingly, my son in the tenth standard was insistent that I go with him for the retreat. His reason was that his two other close friends also would be there and they could find time to study and play in between attending the sessions.
For this reason, at the urging of my son, I decided to attend the retreat.
It proved to be a transformational experience. The renowned Preacher Fr Augustine Vallooran VC., launched the retreat theme on the opening day with the question “Who am I?” based on the Gospel of Mt 16:13-20 & Lk 9:20 in contrast. This question bothered me throughout the retreat, as somewhere with all the things I was doing throughout my life, I seemed to have lost my focus, and was getting angry and irritated, sometimes even anxious about dealing with life and those around me.
This theme was expanded upon throughout the retreat.
Days slipped by as I absorbed the learning. “The prime duty of parenting is directing Children to God.” And often it is so easy to talk about anything other than God. Deep reflection on verses like Eph 5, Eph 6:4, Acts 16:31 help us understand our Christian Mission of Parenting starting with our marriage – to help each other come to the Lord. Marriage is a pilgrimage from contract to covenant, a sacrament between three persons – husband, wife and Holy Spirit. This sense of Mission is possible with the intervention of the Holy Spirit as we see in Lk 1:35 and establishing a culture of prayer in the family. Each of us need to be witnesses in prayer, especially in times of trials and storms (which we are bound to experience in life), Our parents knew this without any prodding. Our children will emulate us too.
Finally, on the last day when Fr. Vallooran was explaining about the barren fig tree in Mk 11, which was cursed by Jesus for having no fruit even though not in season , I understood that I am expected to be like the fig tree which should bear fruits in all season. Fr. Vallooran explained this is possible if we can see the person in front of us as Jesus, we can bear fruit. So, in a situation where I have my wife or child or anyone come before me with some need(s) and I don’t understand them or respond to that request then I am like a barren fig tree.
During the retreat, when Fr Vallooran travelled across the town in the middle of the night along with our retreat leaders to pay a visit to a seriously sick child, their selfless action at the end of a long and tiring day, demonstrated to me in action the concept of being a fruit bearing fig tree.
The retreat preachers expanded on the fact that it is possible to Abide in Him and bear fruit in plenty if we listen to God daily. God will speak to us through His Word. Fr, Vallooran gave the personal example of struggling in his diaconate year with the final commitment to Priesthood. Encouraged by his superior, a German Priest, to take some time off to discern God’s Will, this final decision came to him after a week of prayer and discernment, and Fr. Vallooran has never wavered in this commitment even after fifty years. This personal sharing was very inspirational. Many other such examples reinforced this message.
How can I hear the Voice of God?
I can hear Him through listening to His Word. It should be the first thing we do in the morning, opening the Bible and reading the Word of God for whatever time we can commit, ideally half hour, then we can hear Him speaking to us, and He will be with us throughout the day, in situations we face. Jer 15:16, Ez3:3, Ps 119:92, Mt 7:24-27, Heb 4:12 are some of the relevant verses.
The other stellar insight was to offer at Mass whatever we have – our sufferings and pains, our brokenness and inadequacies along with the Host, and at offertory our pain also becomes an offering to the Lord and will be transformed, and we will be strengthened to go through life with those sufferings and challenges.
Every parent must bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit, primarily expressed in Love towards the other. This Love can be gained by spending the time with the Word of God everyday and listening to Him.
This will help us be a fig tree bearing fruit in all seasons and situations.
As we came to the end of the retreat, there was a visible feeling of peace and joy in me, and I couldn’t but noticing amongst all the participants too. We are experiencing what Fr. Augustine Valloran says at the end of the retreat: “After attending a retreat, what happens is faith comes alive and faith becomes a joyous celebration.”
I dread going back into the world like Peter, James and John after their experience at Mount Tabor. The bustling traffic and noise and my numerous engagements and pressures scare me to re-enter the world. Will I forget what I learnt in the retreat? Will the time spent here be a waste? But my Master descended into the market place of the world.
Then, I hold on to this one learning. Let me read the Word of God and Listen to Him every day, first thing in the morning. This will give me the answer to the question – Who am I? Help me, Lord, to start this practice and stick to it.
PostScript: I am conscious that my decoding the retreat experience may not be the same for another person. I have also written earlier about my experience of attending a silent retreat. Whichever type of retreat one chooses to go to, it is certainly good to take some time off every year and recharge oneself through exclusive time with the Lord, and this will certainly help us refocus on our Mission in life. This is a practice our Priests and Religious follow every year and worth emulating.