By Lavoisier Fernandes –
“Keeping up with the Joneses”(or the Jones family)—the metaphorical family that lives in your neighbourhood or, more likely these days, on Instagram, WhatsApp statuses, TikTok or Facebook, always flaunting the best of everything. From an outsider’s view, their life seems annoyingly perfect. Perhaps it is their well-behaved, talented, or well-settled children, the fancy posh car that never breaks down, their seemingly picture-perfect house, wedding photos that apparently never needed a filter or a dozen retakes, or those luxurious vacations you watch them take to exotic places while you’re gearing up for yet another thrilling adventure to the local beach or park.
Social media frequently presents an incomplete or distorted view of someone’s life, often creating the illusion of perfection. It often promotes unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and happiness. This continuous exposure to idealized images, coupled with the fear of missing out (FOMO), can adversely affect mental well-being.
So, if you are scrolling through Facebook, TikTok or Instagram on autopilot, it is all too easy for your mind to leap to negative conclusions and judgments about others—and yourself—like, “He’s got everything going for him. My life is so boring,” “She’s way prettier than I am,” “Why would he even post that?” or “What an attention seeker.”
This can be spiritually and psychologically harmful. If left unchecked, it can subtly encourage comparison, leading to feelings of envy, vainglory, inadequacy, and self-doubt and if these emotions are not addressed, they can escalate into stress, anxiety, and depression. Whilst for those already struggling with anxiety or depression, constant exposure to these negative comparisons can further aggravate their challenges.
Vainglory on the other hand—characterized by the desire to showcase one’s best moments, achievements, and appearance can easily slip into vainglory, where the primary goal becomes seeking admiration and validation from others.
This excessive desire for recognition and praise amplified in the digital world through seeking validation and the temporary dopamine rush created by the social media rewards of “likes” on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram can lead to a culture of self-aggrandizement and superficial interactions. So also, the metrics of social media—likes, comments, shares, and follower counts—can become a measure of personal worth.
Two Deadly Vices—Envy and Vainglory
Envy is a significant moral concern in Catholic teaching (CCC No 2539),often linked to a lack of charity and a distorted self-view in relation to others and oneself. It is considered a capital sin, marked by sorrow over another’s good fortune and an excessive desire to obtain what they have, even through unjust means. This vice can lead to harmful behaviours such as hatred, gossip, and general discontent with others’ successes or the lack of one’s own success.
Holy Scripture provides early examples of envy (cf. Gen 4), where Cain’s anger towards Abel arises when God favours Abel’s sacrifice over his own. Despite being the firstborn and receiving a larger share of his father’s inheritance, Cain’s envy over Abel’s success leads him to murder his brother.
Similarly, in the parable of the workers in the vineyard (Mt 20:15), those hired first begrudge the equal wages given to those hired later, revealing their envy. The master’s response, “Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?” underscores the destructive nature of envy and the importance of contentment.
Vainglory, a vice closely related to vanity, involves an excessive craving for recognition and praise. It reflects a focus on earthly honours and external validation, manifesting in intolerance of criticism, boasting, and an endless desire for admiration. In 1 John 2:16 it refers to “the pride of life,” highlighting the conflict between such vanity and spiritual values. Similarly, Ecclesiastes 1:2-3 reminds us that all is vanity apart from God.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (No 1753) notes that the quest for human glory can hinder spiritual growth, as it shifts focus away from seeking God’s glory. It cautions that attachment to earthly honours can lead to other sins, such as disobedience and hypocrisy.
Root of Envy Is a False Image of God While Vainglory is an Inflated and Baseless Self-Esteem.
Pope Francis, in his cycle of catechesis on envy and vainglory, elaborates by noting that:
“Envy is a false image of God, and it stems from a complex relationship of both admiration and resentment. Individuals may desire the good fortune of others while simultaneously wishing them harm, reflecting a deeper struggle with self-identity and worth.”
The Holy Father further highlights that the two vices often define a person who craves being the centre of the universe, exploiting everyone and everything to become the focus of all praise and admiration thus adding that :
“Vainglory is an inflated and baseless self-esteem. The vainglorious person possesses an unwieldy “I”: he has no empathy and takes no notice of the fact that there are other people in the world besides him. His relationships are always instrumental, marked by the dominating the other. His person, his accomplishments, his achievements must be shown to everyone: he is a perpetual beggar for attention. And if at times his qualities are not recognized, he becomes fiercely angry. Others are unfair, they do not understand, they are not up to it.”
How Can We Combat Envy, Vainglory and Comparison in an Age of Social Media?
Social media offers numerous benefits and opportunities for meaningful engagement and evangelization. The challenge is to navigate these platforms with a focus on authentic human relationships and a commitment to the Gospel, rather than being swayed by the temptations of popularity, envy, vainglory, and comparison.
Several key approaches rooted in Catholic teachings can help:
- Counting your Blessings and Practicing Gratitude : This reminds me of the beautiful hymn “When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings, name them one by one….”. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (N 2638) teaches that combating envy involves goodwill and a recognition of the blessings in one’s own life (cf. 1 Thess 5:18). A common practice for reviewing one’s day, often performed through the Examen—a form of prayer developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola—involves reflecting on the blessings received throughout the day. This practice fosters a spirit of gratitude and deepens awareness of God’s gifts.
- God Does Not Show Favouritism or Rewards us with Wealth—as the Prosperity Gospel Suggests: For Catholics, the true reward is in heaven, not in earthly wealth, praise, or recognition. Earthly life is temporary (cf.Lk12:13-21), while heaven is the ultimate goal. Additionally, we understand that God does not have favourites (cf. Rom 2:11) and does not reward us with worldly riches, contrary to the claims of the prosperity gospel commonly found in some Protestant beliefs.
- Avoiding Superficial Comparisons: We are created in the image and likeness of God with different talents and also with our fair share of difficulties and trials. Recognizing that social media often presents an idealized version of life is crucial. The Church teaches that focusing on one’s own unique path (Cf. Matthew 25:14-30) and gifts can help mitigate the negative effects of comparison. Encouraging self-reflection and personal growth can lead to a healthier relationship with social media.
- Cultivating Humility and Developing a Healthy Self Image: Humility is essential in overcoming envy and vainglory. Pope Francis teaches that true greatness lies in serving others, not in seeking recognition. Embracing humility helps shift focus from self-promotion to genuine service, fostering community. It involves recognizing your worth in Christ and valuing your intrinsic value beyond external achievements.
- Limiting Social Media Exposure and Engaging Authentically: Setting boundaries, avoiding mindless scrolling. So, to educating yourself about the effects of social media and seeking to use it mindfully and responsibly and investing in genuine, face-to-face relationships and community activities that provide real support and validation can help. The Dicastery for Communication encourages believers to seek meaningful connections rather than superficial interactions on social media.
Lavoisier Fernandes, born and raised in Goa, is currently based in West London. His faith is “work in progress”- and a lifelong journey. He has always been fascinated by the Catholic faith thanks to his Salesian schooling and his passion is podcasting, theology, the papacy, volunteering.
He has hosted the ‘Talking Faith’ series for Heavens Road FM Catholic Radio, connecting with ordinary men and women within the Catholic faith, other faiths and examining issues affecting both Church and society and has also hosted the ‘Heart Talk’ series for Shalom World Catholic TV. In 2018 one of his podcast -Mental Health and the role of the Catholic Church was shortlisted for the Jerusalem awards in UK. Presently contributes for the Goa Diocesan magazine – Renovação, Mumbai Diocesan magazine – The Examiner, the only digital Indian Catholic portal – Indian Catholic Matters and the Faith Companion Magazine in England.