Good Fathers to Great Dads is a book for the Christian dad in general with a practical oriented approach yet built on a strong spiritual foundation. It is a collection of valuable experiences and insights from dads that would meet readers at their point of need and guide them to explore and develop their own approach.
This book is aimed at young dads as well as dads-to-be. It however taps into timeless principles and spiritual truths and any dad at any phase of life could glean some insights from it. The perspectives have been shared by dads who come from a Christian background, but any parent would be able to find some takeaway from this book.
Authors Chris D’Souza and Adrian Stevens emphasise on the relational perspective to fatherhood from a faith-based standpoint and this is the main undercurrent of most of the sharing in this book.
According to them, “The relational approach is the key message because effective, lasting bonds can only be built via the bridge of strong, enduring relationships. It is faith-based because we believe that God is the source as well as support in our parenting journey.”
The approach taken is one of sharing of insights of Christian dads on their parental journey – the challenges faced and lessons learned while developing the father-child bond.
They have taken pains to underline the framework based on experience-sharing drawn from psychological, sociological and spiritual perspectives. It follows the various stages in the life of a dad capturing the impressions and experiences of parenting right from his own parental family through marriage and into his evolving fatherhood role.
To expand on the relational approach to fatherhood, as well as serve to compare and contrast the positional approach versus the relational approach, the authors have chosen various factors pertaining to fatherhood and expanded upon them. Each “dad factor” forms the basis for the chapters of this book. Each chapter begins with a short introduction by the authors, explaining the concept in brief and is followed by a real life sharing by a dad. At the end of each chapter there are a few experiences shared by dads by way of snippets to enhance and reinforce the central idea of the chapter. This is followed by key takeaways from the chapter and a work area that is designed for reflection, planning and discussion.
The reader is given plenty of reflection and discussion points to apply to his own situation. Ultimately the effectiveness of this learning will lie in creating his own approach using the principles gleaned from this book.
Finally, the reader is posed with a question – as to what kind of a legacy he would leave for his kids. He is also made aware of the factors that can derail his relationship with his family and urged to make a conscious shift from a routine parenting journey to that of a significant one – marked by responsibility, example and faith exhibited via a loving relationship with his children.
ICM will run fortnightly a couple of chapters from their book – Great Fathers to Great Dads.
In the meanwhile, we will leave you with their G2G Dad’s pledge.
The G2G Dad’s Pledge
With gratitude in my heart for the gift of family and privilege of fatherhood, I solemnly resolve before God and my family to always keep in mind the dignity and responsibility of my calling as a dad and a spouse.
In my role and responsibility as a dad, I will not let baggage from the past hamper or distort my relationship with my family, but with God’s grace and professional help strive to build a healthy relationship with them.
I will honour the marriage covenant made before God and man by loving and respecting my spouse as the equal partner in leading our family. I will strive to invest in transparent and honest communication with her on a regular basis.
I will strive to be a role model to my children, demonstrating integrity and walking the talk at all times. I will freely give of my time and resources sacrificially as I nurture build my relationship with them.
I will look for opportunities and avenues to respectfully and lovingly affirm my children and by my positive words and actions build up their sense of significance and self-worth.
I will build appropriate boundaries for my children; view discipline as a means, not an end and make sure that it is carried out lovingly and in partnership with my spouse.
I will strive to build up my relationship with my children by understanding their point of view, looking for opportunities to engage with them and strengthen the bond by words and acts of love.
I will not only be a provider and protector to my children, but also be always available as a companion, guide and teacher, envisioning the emotional, spiritual as well as physical growth of my children.
While I will earnestly work to provide for the needs of my family, I will also seek to keep in proper balance – work, rest, prayer and recreation with my family.
In everything, I will remember that I have a tremendous responsibility as spiritual leader in representing God to my children and not avoid or delegate this responsibility. To this end I will strive to build up my own relationship with God and lead by example.
I will always remember that every thought, word and action of mine is rolling up into a legacy that I will leave behind for my children.
Signed,
( Your name)
The authors can be contacted (emails below) and the book is available at major Christian bookstores such as ATC and St. Pauls.
Adrian is the dad of three beautiful girls Anika, Ashara and Abigail and considers his wife Maryanne as one of his biggest blessings. He figured that his three decades as a marketing strategist, would have come to naught had he failed to raise a happy family. Currently engaged as a professional brand consultant he has enjoyed success serving large multinational corporations like Olgilvy and smaller startups too. Adrian can be contacted at [email protected].
Chris is the dad of 12 year old David, an avid aircraft enthusiast, budding poet and football player. Together with his wife Jennifer, they are involved in leadership training, coaching, counselling as well as family & parenting programs. Chris is Director & Executive Coach at Lead Strategic Development, a leadership consulting organization. He has two decades of corporate experience in Global Delivery & Talent Management. Chris can be contacted at [email protected].
Both Adrian and Chris are on the leadership team of ‘God is in Control’ (GIIC) fellowship, a Bangalore-based Catholic professionals ministry dedicated to enabling Christian professionals discover and live their calling as witnesses in the workplace.