Tom Thomas –
“Disease is surely one of the ways in which we are tried by life and offered the chance to be heroic. Though few of us will win Olympic gold medals or slay dragons, disease can be the spark or gift that allows many of us to live out our personal myths and become heroes.”
The words above that I read more than thirty-five years ago, still has an impact on me. When my mom was diagnosed with fourth stage Colon Cancer whilst only in her early fifties, we almost felt the earth shifting beneath our feet. Treatment was rudimentary in India, and there were very few hospitals dealing with the dreaded big “C”. We could not even get stoma bags of good quality in India, and I had to get them from the US. She was given less than six months but her strong will power enabled her to outlast that timeframe by five years. During that period she was able to see me complete my Masters degree in Engineering from the US and see me get married too.
Attending meetings of Ostomates (those who had this procedure) in the US, I saw people having this procedure done, 20 even 30 years ago, living normal lives. Sharing their experiences with each other made them stronger mutually.
The periods that my mom was under treatment (several rounds of surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy) were huge periods of ups and downs in our life. But strong faith in Almighty and reading the Bible and works such as by Dr Bernie Siegel, author of the book, Love, Medicine and Miracles, helped her and us during these trials, Of course, I had periods where I was angry at those around me – the Doctors who were treating her and even God. Why was this happening to my mom, who always exalted Him in her life and sacrificed everything for her three precious children and husband, giving her very best always.
She remains our evergreen hero. Accepting what came her way without complaint or bitterness. The pillar of our family, she gave us strength even in her illness. Paradoxically, as her physical strength ebbed with the crushing impact of the treatments that killed good cells along with bad, her will became stronger.
I think of all these times, and wonder at the amazing advancements in India, since then. The latest technologies and techniques help detect matters early, and bring things under control. And of course, good quality stoma bags are available in India too.
There is much to be grateful for.
All these memories came to mind recently, when one of our Bible study group members, a strong woman of God was diagnosed with the same condition that my mom had, fortunately, detected in the very early stages of the illness.
I believe, the woman of God will emerge from the required treatment, changed by the encounter with the disease as a hero. She will strengthen her family and friends by becoming this hero.
Just like my mom did, and all those who battle this debilitating illness. They are heroes.
Their example will help us to accept with Grace whatever comes in our life as per His Will, Good or Bad. We all pray, of course, for illness to be taken away from us. Many times, it happens that illness can be controlled by treatment and may even disappear over time. But sometimes, we have to accept that the illness stays with us, and we have to come to terms with it with it and become better versions of ourselves, not worse off, becoming bitter and despondent due to it, spreading the gloom, when a chance exists to obviate how our near and dear ones feel because of the condition the embattled one has to suffer. This is the aspect of heroism.
The Saints have not been spared from illness too. We learn from their lives.
Reflecting upon the life of St Alphonsa, whose short life was afflicted by continuous bouts of illness, we marvel at her written response to her Spiritual Director on 20 November 1944, “ Dear Father, as my good Lord Jesus loves me so very much, I sincerely desire to remain on this sick bed and suffer not only this but anything else besides, even to the end of the world. I feel now that God has intended my life to be an oblation, a sacrifice of suffering.”
St Charles Borromeo administered tirelessly to the deadly plague affected victims in the city of Milan centuries ago, staying back when almost all others deserted the city. He is attributed to the saying, “Don’t prefer a long life over a holy one.”
St Peregrine is the Patron Saint of the Cancer affected. There are numerous prayers one can find online seeking this Saint’s intercession.
St Francis of Assisi, who was troubled by various ailments in his life, including his poor eyesight, for which his eyes had to be cauterized, a very painful procedure in the mediaeval era, says with such clarity of inner vision, “Keep a clear eye toward life’s end. Do not forget your purpose and destiny as God’s creature. What you are in his sight is what you are and nothing more. Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take nothing that you have received…but only what you have given; a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage.”
The words of Holy Father Pope Francis given on the occasion of the World Day of the Sick 2024, put in the right perspective what our Christian attitude to be when affected by illness:
“To those of you who experience illness, whether temporary or chronic, I would say this: Do not be ashamed of your longing for closeness and tenderness! Do not conceal it, and never think that you are a burden on others. The condition of the sick urges all of us to step back from the hectic pace of our lives in order to rediscover ourselves.
At this time of epochal change, we Christians in particular are called to adopt the compassion-filled gaze of Jesus. Let us care for those who suffer and are alone, perhaps marginalized and cast aside. With the love for one another that Christ the Lord bestows on us in prayer, especially in the Eucharist, let us tend the wounds of solitude and isolation. In this way, we will cooperate in combating the culture of individualism, indifference and waste, and enable the growth of a culture of tenderness and compassion.
The sick, the vulnerable and the poor are at the heart of the Church; they must also be at the heart of our human concern and pastoral attention. May we never forget this! And let us commend ourselves to Mary Most Holy, Health of the Sick, that she may intercede for us and help us to be artisans of closeness and fraternal relationships.”
In the journey of life, these words impress me:
“Spirituality in its best sense is about “What you do with your pain?” Richard Rohr OFM.
We have to appropriate our human condition and fragility. It is in the heart of our fragility that we discover the presence of God. Spiritual life is most frequently activated after some personal crisis or tragedy. God can enter into our lives only through cracks. Pain is the holy angel which shows treasures to us that otherwise remain forever hidden.
Let us take therefore take heart. We can draw strength from them – our heroes.
“ Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Is 41:10