Embrace Love Amidst Challenges: Why These Undercurrents in the Land of St Thomas?

By Tom Thomas –

It is sweltering at Sunday noon and the Thrissur sun beats down harshly on the assembled crowd.  Maybe most here are used to this weather, it is hotter than what we are used to in Bangalore.  I pray that I do not start to sweat.

A wedding ceremony is what brings us all together to the majestic, gleaming white Cathedral.   Four priests officiate the ceremony very meaningfully in the Syro-Malabar rite. Every prayer and word have meaning, although sometimes I have to strain to decipher the meaning, as I am not fluent in attending Mass in this rite.

The homily is beautiful, with the Priest referring to the three words that Pope Francis said in a homily the newly wed couples should use often: Please, Thank You and Forgive Me.  The Priest almost mentions that one needs to give in to the other, do not keep an account of perceived wrongs by the partner, forgive and forget Reference to Fulton Sheen’s seminal work, Three to Get Married, is also made.

I remember this quote from the book:

“In all human love it must be realized that every man promises a woman, and every woman promises a man that which only God alone can give, namely, perfect happiness. One of the reasons why so many marriages are shipwrecked is because as the young couple leave the altar, they fail to realize that human feelings tire and the enthusiasm of the honeymoon is not the same as the more solid happiness of enduring human love. One of the greatest trials of marriage is the absence of solitude. In the first moments of human love, one does not see the little hidden deformities which later on appear.”
― Fulton J. Sheen, Three to Get Married

The import of the marriage vows that the couple makes in Malayalam also sink in. They are promising to stand by each other, forever, in health and sickness, in good times and bad, till death separates them.

Not small words, the promise is for life.

When I look back on the same words that I uttered at my own marriage, three decades ago, I can think of so many times it has been hard to keep up with these words, as the storms of life sometimes beat down on one. Yet, so far, my better half and I have managed to sail through together by the grace of God.

The words that the young priest ends the service are really touching. He says that the three other priests with him not only have solemnized the Mass of the young couple but are there to pray for them whenever they need them too.  Wonderful!

We walk out of the Service, with the beautiful Syro-Malabar service having touched us deeply.

As we enter the nearby Parish Hall for the reception, I wonder to myself with all the liturgical beauty and depth that the Syro-Malabar Church has, why is it also troubled by internal strife?  On that very day, just a few kilometres away in the adjoining Archdiocese of Ernakulam-Angamaly much violence was going on, with clerics protesting at the Archbishop’s house, being dragged out after police compliant, laity involved too, rapid change of leadership etc.  All this being telecast on media, and being talked about even at the function we are at.

My cousin has a Church there booked in May for his daughter’s engagement. You might want to consider changing this particular Church if this problem continues, another cousin tells him.  “I can’t, he replies, cards have already been printed.”

So much tension and undercurrents in the land of St Thomas.

Why? I wonder.

Why is the dispute not able to be settled by our Shepherds with the same advice they give us.  To forgive and forget, to love and respect the other. Above all to have obedience and respect for our Church and the Lord in whatever we do.

As I pen these words, I read in the media that some sort of a truce has been arrived at.  I only hope and pray for a permanent solution for peace.  As if this war within the Syro Malabar Church Ernakulam Angamaly continues, if the Shepherds there continue to fight amongst themselves, this can spread like cancer.  It must be stopped.

Do these matters really concern me, as a Malayalee living in a far-off State and primarily attending a Latin Church for so many years?  I guess they do, they would have concerned my late father.   When a request for funds to build a new Syro- Malabar Church in our area comes, we are informed by those soliciting funds, think of your Syro-Malabar roots.  I do.

Maybe that is why I pen these words at 3.45am. The situation keeps me awake.

I can only do so much.  Write about it and pray about it.

For a lasting solution for peace in the Syro-Malabar Ernakulum-Angamaly Archdiocese.

I hope as a Catholic reading this, you can reflect and pray about this situation too.

It does affect us all.  We need the entire Catholic Church to be united and together in obedience and accordance to Holy Father Pope Francis always.

These words of the Holy Father seem apt:

“The unity of the church is unity among people and it is not done by negotiating but in life. It is realised in life. We all want unity; we all desire it in the depths of our heart and at the same time it is very difficult to obtain. Also, within a marriage and a family, union and harmony are among the most difficult things to achieve and even more difficult to maintain.”  Pope Francis, Weekly Catechesis, October 2024