- By Lavoisier Fernandes –
A friend recently introduced me to an intriguing image that sparked my curiosity and led me on a path of discovery. The image, Our Lady of Silence (La Madonna del Silenzio), depicts Mary with her index finger gently poised in front of her closed lips, conveying a powerful message. Created in a traditional Byzantine style, the original image was commissioned by Fr. Emiliano Antenucci a Capuchin friar in 2010 and was completed after nine months of work by the Benedictine nuns of San Giulio d’Orta in the Italian province of Novara. This image struck a chord within me, prompting me to delve deeper into its meaning and significance.
I soon learned that this image holds a special place in the heart of Pope Francis, who has a profound devotion to two icons: the icon of sleeping St. Joseph and Our Lady of Silence. The Holy Father’s admiration for Our Lady of Silence is so strong that he had a message inscribed on the back of the original icon: “Don’t speak badly of others.” In fact, he has even placed copies of the icon in prominent locations, including near the elevator of the Apostolic Palace in the Vatican, as a gentle reminder to visitors to avoid engaging in gossip and spreading rumours.
Gossip—yes, it is unfortunate that we have all encountered or participated in idle chatter, spreading lies, exaggerations, harsh attacks, and uncharitable remarks. The reasons are myriad like judgement, character assassination, fear, jealousy, our own weaknesses reflected in others, hiding our own inadequacies, biasness, political affiliations, to name a few. It is reminiscent of a childhood game called “Chinese whispers,” where a message is distorted as it is passed from one person to another in whispers. St. Thomas Aquinas, the renowned theologian, and doctor of the Church, eloquently identified various forms of gossip, such as reviling, backbiting, calumny, detraction, tale-bearing, derision, and cursing, highlighting their unjust nature in his treatise on justice. The Catechism of the Catholic Church includes gossip under its treatment of the Eighth Commandment, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.”
In our current era of constant social media exposure and the lure of seeking validation through “likes” and emoticons, gossip has found new avenues to flourish and we at times behave like modern day Pharisees. With the rapid dissemination of information and amplifying our emotions and biases, gossip can easily permeate our lives, fuelling division and animosity. Sadly, I have witnessed this phenomenon within the Church itself, where Catholics have engaged in disrespectful and disloyal conversations regarding the Magisterium, doubting and questioning the Papacy. The divide over different forms of the Mass and the mode of receiving Holy Communion has further fuelled debates, often forgetting that true humility and reverence originate from the depths of the heart and spirit, not from external practices, we see it in parishes and parish council settings sadly cursing and insisting on transfer appointments of priests whilst parishioners are sucked by the herd mentality of social media gossip or hearsay without knowing or verifying the realities. Even if it were true, who are we to judge looking at the speck of dust in the other and not the plank in our own eyes. Regrettably, while engaging in such discussions, we have forgotten to guard our tongues outside the church walls, spreading hatred, fear, misinformation, temptation, and erroneous teachings, while ruining reputations.
In light of these challenges, let us explore some practical tips to cultivate virtuous behaviour and promote a culture of silence, respect, and love:
- The Practice of Silence with Love: Breaking the noise habit, fasting from gossip, and seeking moments of silence are essential for our spiritual lives. Silence fosters prayer, holiness, and the ability to listen to God’s voice, discern His will, and live in the present moment. Pope Francis in one of his Sunday Angelus messages said that “Gossip is so rotten. At the beginning, it seems to be something enjoyable and fun, like a piece of candy. But at the end, it fills the heart with bitterness and also poisons us.” Gossip can lead us to an addiction cycle of self-loathing, judgement, sin, and guilt. The Holy Father in an introduction written in the book, Don’t Speak Ill of Others, by Capuchin Father Emiliano Antenucci who commissioned the image of Our Lady of Silence quoted St.Augustine “If you keep silent, keep silent by love: if you speak, speak by love; if you correct, correct by love; if you pardon, pardon by love; let love be rooted in you, and from the root nothing but good can grow. Love and do what you will.” The Pope also quoted St. Mother Teresa of Kolkata’s familiar phrase as a lesson in holiness accessible to every Christian: “The fruit of silence is prayer; the fruit of prayer is faith; the fruit of faith is love; the fruit of love is service; the fruit of service is peace. One begins with silence and arrives at charity toward others,” he said.
- Sifting Past Sensationalized Headlines and Verifying News Sources: In today’s world, we are inundated with information from various sources, often biased and lacking reliability. Instead of succumbing to the allure of sensationalized headlines, we should take the time to verify the accuracy and credibility of the news we encounter. Pope Francis says “Gossiping is terrorism because the person who gossips is like a terrorist who throws a bomb and walks away, destroying; they destroy with their tongue, they don’t make peace.”
- Praying Instead of Speaking Ill of Others and giving the benefit of doubt: When faced with the temptation to speak ill of someone, especially when hurt or insulted, we should turn to prayer. Refraining from giving in to the urge to retaliate or engage in gossip not only demonstrates moral integrity but also preserves the dignity of the person being discussed. Correctly using our words, Pope Francis says that. “Not, speaking ill of others is not “just a moral act,” and when we speak ill of others, we sully the image of God that is in each person.” The correct use of words is important,” Pope Francis also says that. “Words can be kisses, caresses, medicine, but they also can be knives, swords, or bullets. “Words, he said, can be used to bless or to curse, “they can be closed walls or open window.” Praying for the other person helps us in our healing and letting go of your grudges and hurts, not always easy but therapeutic to bring us peace. St Gertrude the Great said, “the more we pray for someone, the more that blessing rests on him, for no prayer made in faith remains unanswered, even if the manner of its answering is hidden from us.”
- Applying Socrates’ Test of Three: The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates proposed a test consisting of three questions before sharing information about others: Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful? If the answer to these questions is negative, it is best to refrain from passing on the information. Pope Francis believes that if each one of us purposefully avoids gossip, we will embark on a beautiful path toward sanctity.
- Confronting Gossip with Dialogue and Offering a Different Perspective: When confronted with gossip, whether in person or on social media, it is crucial to respond in a spirit of dialogue and understanding. It is easy to analyse through our sometimes-myopic mind and not understanding the bigger picture or getting the full story. Engaging in respectful conversations, offering alternative viewpoints, and correcting rumours with charitable clarity can help break the cycle of gossip and foster unity and empathy.
Lastly, as a profound devotion to Our Lady of Silence, we can consecrate ourselves to her, seeking her intercession and guidance in taming our tongues and cultivating virtuous behaviour. This act of consecration brings with it a multitude of virtues, including silence, listening, humility, joy, attention to others, patience, balance, docility, stability, purity, trust, and mercy. As Pope Francis eloquently states, “I am convinced that if each one of us would purposely avoid gossip, in the end, we would become a saint! It’s a beautiful path!”
Prayer of Consecration to Our Lady of Silence
Oh, Virgin Mary, Mother of Silence,
I consecrate all of my life to you.
Deign to impress upon my heart the Heart of your Son Jesus,
who died and rose again for me.
In reply to the angel’s joyful annunciation, you said, “Fiat”;
at the wedding at Cana, you taught me to do everything the Lord tells me to do;
under the cross, you gave me an example of unity with Jesus
who was obedient to the Father.
Our Lady of Silence, channel of grace,
give me each day the grace of sincere conversion
and of stability in my vocation.
Mary, dew of divine Beauty,
reveal how you are a masterpiece of holiness,
created at the high price of the blood of Christ.
Oh Mary, Cathedral of Silence,
make this prayer resound in my heart:
“Be not afraid, because you are my child,
and you are loved by the heavenly Father.”
Holy Mary, lifeboat of souls, bridge between Heaven and Earth,
guide me, together with the angels and saints,
to build the kingdom of God on Earth,
so that I may live in the constant presence of the Most Holy Trinity
and desire, for others and for myself,
the Eternal peace and joy of the Heavenly Jerusalem.
Amen.
Lavoisier Fernandes, born and raised in Goa, is currently based in West London. His faith is “work in progress”- and a lifelong journey. He has always been fascinated by the Catholic faith, thanks to his Salesian schooling. He’s passionate about podcasting, theology, the papacy, and volunteering. He has hosted ‘Talking Faith’ series for Heavens Road FM, Catholic Radio, connecting with ordinary men and women within the Catholic faith, other faiths and examining issues affecting both the Church and society. He has also been a host on Shalom World Catholic TV for two episodes of the ‘Heart Talk’ series. He presently contributes for the Goa Diocesan magazine Renevacao.
References:
Image credit Facebook Fra Emiliano Antenucc i(aleteia.org)
www.newadvent.org/summa/3072.htm
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2477)
https://aleteia.org/2019/04/16/consecrate-yourself-to-our-lady-of-silence-with-this-prayer/
https://cruxnow.com/vatican/2021/01/words-can-be-kisses-but-also-swords-pope-writes-in-new-book
https://aleteia.org/2015/01/16/the-sin-of-gossip/