By Fr. Adolf Washington –
A man found it so difficult to love his wife that the two decided to go to a marriage counselor.
After a brief chat with the counselor, the counselor kissed the man’s wife and told him “I think this is exactly what your wife needs at least thrice a week”. The man quipped “Ok sir, I have no problem. If this is exactly what she needs, I can send her here on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays”.
Another lady came rushing to a priest saying “Father, your sermon last Sunday has really touched me. I have started loving my husband much more now”. The priest curiously asked her “And what were those words I said that made you start loving your husband?” She replied “Father, you quoted the Bible saying; love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”(Mathew 5:44).
When couples look at marriage as a kind of ‘contract, problems arise. But when they see their marriage as a ‘covenant’, the marriage lasts. Most of us may have seen both, couples tearing apart and couples that stay together through thick and thin.
A contract is a legal instrument used to document what two parties plan to do, where even force is sometimes used to break or uphold the contract. The Bible talks of a ‘covenant’ that involves a solemn vow taken before God and a person. God sets the terms and makes the offer, we then decide to accept or reject His offer. When we accept the offer, we ‘make’ the covenant. In a marital covenant, both parties vow in love, to accept each other in good times and in bad.
A physician once said, ‘The best medicine for humans is love.’ Someone asked him, ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ He smiled and answered, ‘Increase the dose’.”
Saint Paul in his letter to the Corinthians defines true love. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices with the truth. Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love never fails.”(1 Corinthians 13: 4-8).
True and mutual love in a marital relationship makes for a successful marriage. A successful marriage does not imply having a perfect spouse, but spouses looking beyond each others’ imperfections.
A press reporter asked Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company, on the occasion of his Golden wedding jubilee “Sir, what do you attribute the success of your marriage to?”
Henry Ford replied “I apply the same formula I use in making cars. Just stick to one model”. Ford who was married to Clara Jane Bryant in 1888 was quoted several years later in the New York Times magazine as saying “The greatest day in my life is when I married Mrs. Ford”.