By Tom Thomas –
It seems almost surreal.
I am on a verdant green leafy ground with the statue of Jesus and His outstretched arms with the message ‘Listen to Him’ inscribed.
I have been doing just that for the past three days, listening to Him completely, in this oasis of silence, with my mobile switched off completely and my Apple watch stored away. A rare occurrence for someone living with 24*7 perceived need of being available, in one of the most traffic dense cities of the world, surrounded by noise always.
How did I get here? What sort of a place is this you might wonder?
I am at an Ignatian retreat center on the outskirts of Bangalore run by the Jesuits called Dhyanashrama – Mount St Joseph. My late father used to come here for over twenty years, sometimes twice a year for eight-day silent retreats. I thought I could manage a three-day retreat and messaged the Father Rector who kindly accommodated me this Lenten season.
That is how I found myself in this place surrounded by many religious also undergoing their retreats – some eight days and some 30 days- all in silence.
The Ignatian retreat concept is modelled on that of the principles of the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola – the idea is to understand one’s inner movements through contemplation and discernment – are they towards God or away from God.
In this retreat format, other than being met by one’s retreat director, an experienced Priest with several years or decades training in Ignatian retreat direction, once a day – maybe for half hour or so, one is totally alone. The coming together for Mass, as well as the mealtimes are in complete silence and solitude envelops me.
I try and assimilate what my retreat Director tells me on the first day. A retreat is nothing but a vacation with the Lord, being totally free for Him in a place away from the hustle and bustle of life. A place of solitude and silence, peace and tranquillity that brings a silence of heart. Here, Father adds, retreats need ESP – Eat well, sleep well and pray incessantly! I adapt to the first two easily. The third takes some getting used to.
Just as it takes getting used to the Silence. Silence equates with Peace, biblically “Shalom,” the spiritual condition of a man who lives in harmony with himself and God.
This type of retreat does not expect one to do many things, but few things deeply. When we are still, God communicates to us (Ex 2).
The method of contemplative prayer was totally unique for me and took some getting used too. It is composed of three parts: Prepare (Read and re-read the selected Scripture for 5 to 7 minutes), Pray (not less than 30 minutes about the scripture just read, and what specific phrase or words call out to me), and lastly Review (spend 10 minutes writing down, asking the two key questions: What is God saying to me and What is my reaction to His call?
It took me some time to figure out that writing masterly reflections is not what the retreat director was looking for, rather what are the inner movements I felt during this time.
Father explained to me that the Retreat Director is only a sounding board between God and me.
Once I grasped this method by the end of the second day, the third day meditating completely on the Lord’s passion became very meaningful and alive. The last contemplative exercise of getting ready the body of Jesus for burial by cleaning His wounds almost had me weeping, such was the depth of experience. I would spend time on these exercises mainly in a secluded small chapel feeling the intimacy of the Lord around me.
Whether it was the intensity of this exercises, or the great food or the overall holiness of the silent atmosphere, I got some of the best sleep I ever had in the retreat center. Surrounded by so many religious doing the same exercises as myself was edifying. I could not help but notice that the religious do not even sit at teatime, and meals are just a single helping. The meals and tea all served like clockwork. Maybe this regular discipline where food is not partaken to excess is what keeps every religious, I know extremely fit!
In the evening, walking through the verdant grounds of the retreat center, the rosary garden, the way of the cross, the dedication to our Lady Of Monserrat (a favourite of St Ignatius of Loyola), seeing the novitiate candidates play as well as pray at the tombstones of the great Jesuit Frs who went before, there is a sense of reverence about the whole place.
Therefore, it was with great reluctance that when my time was up, I had to pack up and leave the retreat center. Taking a final blessing from my retreat director I told him that my worry was would what I had learned – to be a Christ-like person – remain with me once I re-entered in the world. He assured me that it is not me but Christ who is in charge.
With these words of assurance, I switched on my mobile which immediately started buzzing with missed calls and WhatsApp notifications and started my car. Driving out of the gates, I felt a sense of exhilaration, a joy that I had not felt even whilst visiting abroad some of the best developed countries in the world recently. I resolved to use my mobile less and listen to Him more, even whilst out in the world.
I had a great vacation with the Lord. What better experience than that could one have!
If you would like to experience this too you can contact Dhyanashrama Mount St Joseph, SOS Post #7645 Bannerghatta Main Road, Bengaluru 560076. Email: dhyanashrama@gmail.com, Mob/WhatsApp: 6362162423). If you live in other cities, find out the nearest Ignatian retreat center in your city.
“Try to keep your soul always in peace and quiet, always ready for whatever our Lord may wish to work in you. it is certainly a higher virtue of the soul, and a greater grace, to be able to enjoy the Lord in different times and different places than in only one.” – St Ignatius of Loyola
