By Tom Thomas –
Recently I was disturbed by an interaction on a WhatsApp group that I was part of. Someone had posted a WhatsApp forward about the sacrifices made by priests. To supplement that I shared an article I had written some time ago about the sacrifice a mother made when her only son became a Priest. You can read the article here: Heading to the Call.
In response to this someone, a known baiter of Catholics on the group, with whom I had countered his postings on the authenticity of the Shroud of Turin, etc in the past, replied that the duty of a Priest is towards his parents first. This went against my thought that the priestly call is a Divine Call which is supreme to any other call. I think of what St Francis of Assisi did when he decided to follow Him, leaving his earthly father and all the worldly possessions his earthly father bestowed on him, stripping naked and saying that he had only one Father now. He never wavered once he heard the Divine call, and that is what all our priests do, no matter the difficulties that might face.
I appealed to the WhatsApp administrator of the group to respond to this post, knowing that if I did respond, this person would continue to engage in a battle of words in the group. The administrator was reluctant to censure this person. No action from the WhatsApp administrator even after almost a day left me with no other choice but to exit the group. Maybe by doing this, I was performing an action similar to shaking the dust of my feet and leaving as the Lord told the disciples to do when they were not welcome in towns they wanted to preach in.
Was my action right or wrong? Confused I consulted a couple of priests I knew who generally told me that I did the right thing in the circumstances. One of the priests did tell me that with the declining number of children, certainly it gets challenging for the priest son if there are no other siblings to take care of ageing parents or one of the parents is taken away.
Certainly, when one thinks of the great sacrifice made by priests, the sacrifices made by their parents are the same or even greater to give their son to the Church.
The following was part of tradition in earlier years to honour the great role of parents. This is an aspect that Monsignor Charles Pope and others have written about too:
Gift of the Manutergium and 1st confessional stole
On the occasion of their first Mass, it is traditional that the newly ordained priest presents a gift to his parents.
To his mother he gives the Manutergium, which was used to cleanse his hands, consecrated and made holy when the bishop anointed them with sacred chrism at his ordination. The Manutergium is a simple white piece of linen that represents the burial shroud of Christ that protected His sacred body during His 3 days in the tomb. The Manutergium is given to the mother, because she was the first protector of the newly ordained priest during his time in her womb. The Manutergium is a reminder to the people of God of His love and protection—especially towards His priests. When the newly ordained priest’s mother is called home to God, she is buried holding the Manutergium so that all in Heaven and on Earth will know that she is the mother of a priest. And on the last day when we are raised from the dead, she can present the Manutergium to Christ the Lord and say, “My son too shared in your priesthood.”
To his father, the priest presents his first confessional stole. The stole is the sign of priestly office, and the priest wears it when he engages in holy things, like celebrating the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Penance. In the Sacrament of Penance, we experience God’s justice, mercy and reconciling Love. It was the father of the newly ordained priest who first taught him about justice and mercy. And so, the purple stole used to hear confessions, where the priest reconciles the faithful into God’s love, is presented to the priest’s father. And like the mother of the newly ordained, when the priest’s father dies, he is buried holding the purple stole so that all in Heaven and on Earth will know that he was the father of a priest. And on the last day when we are raised from the dead, he can present the purple stole to Christ the Lord and say, “my son too shared in your priesthood.”
What a lovely tradition of the past truly honouring the parents of the Priest.
Writing this article made me feel better, so also my exiting that WhatsApp group. I feel more at peace now, more able to focus on Him and prepare better for the upcoming Advent season.
In ending, what better example of the struggles of the parent of a Priest, than to reflect on the life of St Monica, by whose tears and payers converted her wayward, headstrong son from sinner to Priest to Saint. On his conversion, she said to him, “Son, as far as I am concerned, nothing in this life now gives me any pleasure. I do not know why I am still here, since I have no further hopes in this world. I did have one reason for wanting to live a little longer: to see you become a Catholic Christian before I died. God has lavished his gifts on me; and I do not doubt that he will give me what I have asked of him.”
I conclude with the words of St. Francis of Assisi:
Afterward (after his conversion) the Lord gave me and still gives me such faith in priests who live according to the manner of the Holy Roman Church because of their Order, that if they were to persecute me, I would still have recourse to them. And if I possessed as much wisdom as Soloman had and came upon pitiful priests of this world, I would not preach contrary to their will in the parishes in which they live, And I desire to fear, love, and honour them and all others as my masters. And I do not wish to consider sin in them because I discern the Son of God in them and they are my masters. And I act in this way since I see nothing corporally of the Most High Son of God in this world except His Most holy Body and Blood which they receive and which they alone administer to others.” (Testament of St. Francis).