The following article by Fr. Sunil Macwan, S.J. speaks about the author’s experience of receiving healing and spiritual transformation through the intercessory prayers of friends and relatives, after being struck by the coronavirus. In particular, the article highlights, how intercessory prayers infused him with the strength and hope needed to survive a deadly virus, such as COVID-19. It also underlines the importance of praying for others and for our nation during this pandemic. The article is based on a personal experience, viewed from a spiritual perspective.
Pandemic and Prayer: A COVID-Survivor Priest’s Reflection
A couple of months ago, close to the first anniversary of the nationwide lockdown, a deadlier second wave swept across India with unprecedented ferocity. Mid-March was also the time when Catholics in India, like those all over the world, were observing the last couple of weeks of Lent and eagerly awaiting Easter to bring them the much-needed hope amidst widespread death and despair. As a young priest in the active ministry of teaching and ministering, I had carefully worked out a busy schedule to accommodate both academic and pastoral commitments in the last two weeks before Easter. Since I had largely remained safe from COVID-19 for well over a year in spite of serving in multiple ministries, I had no reason to take extra precautions during holy week. Or so I thought!
After having presided over the Maundy Thursday Mass at a parish and having led the Good Friday service at another, I suddenly felt severe fatigue and body-ache on Holy Saturday evening. And on waking up with a very high fever on Easter Sunday, I sensed impending doom. My Jesuit companions acted quickly to get me tested for COVID-19 and the RTPCR confirmed my worst fear: I had tested positive for the deadly coronavirus! Before the stark reality could sink in, I was moved into home-quarantine, indefinitely cut off from all that had kept me going for a year – classes, computer, and community, just to mention a few.
Once sequestered in a small room and strictly instructed to remain quarantined for the next two weeks, my initial upbeat mood and fighting spirit quickly gave way to a gloomy sense of fear, fatigue, and failure. I feared that, like several other priests, friends, and relatives, I, too, might succumb to the illness. I feared that I might die a lonely, frustrating, and untimely death, which would leave me with a huge sense of regret in my last hours. I feared that some people might laugh at me for being reckless in ministry, and others might have their faith shaken at the passing of someone, who tirelessly encouraged them to keep believing in the saving power of God. Fatigue, too, played its role in wearing me down. At times, I felt weak to the point of not being able to sit up for more than thirty minutes; at times, I felt unable to finish my meals and take the medication on time. At times, I just lacked the strength to sit up and pray. Therefore, a deep sense of failure haunted me in the first few days of my battle with COVID-19. I felt that despite frequent reminders and guidelines, I had failed to protect myself sufficiently from the virus. I felt that all my sincere efforts in teaching and ministering had amounted to a ludicrous failure. I felt that even if I survived, falling victim to COVID-19 and its consequences would leave me permanently scarred with personal and professional failures. In the first few days of home quarantine, therefore, coming to terms with my illness drained me not only of the hope that things will change for the better soon but also of the will to fight for survival.
It was in those dark hours that I decided to turn to a few close friends for prayer and encouragement. In particular, I wrote to Douglas and Jane, a Catholic couple from Milwaukee, with whom I became acquainted during my higher studies in the US a few years ago. Even though three years have passed since I left their hometown, Doug and Jane remain my good friends, with whom I share a special bond of prayer. There are times when they ask me to pray for their special intentions, and at others, I rely on their prayers. So it was natural to request their prayers for healing and hope as I continued taking a heavy dose of antibiotics and immunity boosters to defeat the virus. Little did I know that my two American friends would rope in other friends, relatives, and even strangers to pray for me! They spread the word all around them that I needed their prayers for a quick and thorough recovery. And when they informed me in an email about the number of people who were interceding for me day and night, I was moved to tears: tears of gratitude and joy; tears of hope and strength; tears of health and healing.
Thereafter, a remarkable transformation occurred in me. I became more optimistic about recovering from COVID-19. I became more confident about fighting it with all my strength. Those relentless prayers offered by friends and well-wishers filled me with an unmistakable sense of being in spiritual communion with them, and through them, with God. I clearly felt that just as the invisible virus was pushing to overpower my body, the invisible power of prayer was permeating every cell in my body to protect me every minute of the ordeal. I had a similarly spiritually re-energizing experience with many others friends and relatives from India, the USA, Spain, Sweden, and Australia, who boosted up my healing through soothing words and silent prayers. Consequently, a lot of my pessimism, despair, and loneliness evaporated, and the fresh air of prayerful solidarity revived my drooping spirit. I noticed also that soon afterward my disposition to personal prayer improved, overall health became better, and my face began to shine brighter with a sparkling smile every time someone called to inquire about my health or to reassure me of their prayers.
Of course, an equally important factor in my speedy recovery was the timely and excellent treatment I received during home quarantine. In fact, effective medication and extremely good care prevented the infection from spreading to my lungs in the first place, claimed a paramedic friend. Nevertheless, the spiritual vigor I felt through prayers from friends and family, especially in the darkest hours during my illness, is hard to describe in words. It remains as ineffable as transformative.
The healing power of intercessory prayers then led me to divert my attention from my own illness and precarious health to those countless others – friends, loved ones, and strangers – who were also struck by the coronavirus, but lacked the quality medical attention, excellent personal care, and prayerful spiritual support that I enjoyed during my convalescence. Therefore, at once, I drew up a list of the people who had requested special prayers for recovery from COVID-19, and began spending long stretches of time just praying for them. For the next ten days, two remarkable things happened: on the one hand, the news of their improving health-filled me a deep sense of gratitude to God; on the other hand, the news that a few of them had succumbed to the virus, despite our fervent and relentless prayers, moved me to say a teary ‘amen’ and “Thy will be done”. In my prayerful surrender to the Lord’s will, first of all, with regard to my own illness, and secondly, with those of relatives and friends, a verse from Dante began to echo like a consoling refrain: “In His will is our peace.”
Two months after it first lifted my spirit, I continue to relish the healing effects that the intercessory prayers injected in my post-COVID life. Now back to full health and active again in ministry, I still gratefully remember how sincere prayers from friends empowered me to survive the coronavirus. I feel grateful to God not only for my medical rehabilitation but also for spiritual reinvigoration. That personal experience of the power of prayer also fills me with tremendous hope for our ailing nation, which is now showing signs of a respite from the mayhem caused by the second wave of the pandemic, and yet needs our incessant prayers as it struggles through these very uncertain and precarious times.
Fr. (Dr.) Sunil Macwan, S.J., is a Catholic priest and professor of English at St. Xavier’s College, Ahmedabad. Besides a Ph.D. in English, he also has a B.Th. in Theology. He is keenly interested in discussing Catholic Faith and spirituality, and regularly writes on academic, spiritual, and sociocultural topics in both print and online media.