By Lorraine & Leon Bent
The call to love is “the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” (Familiaris Consortio) In the vocation of marriage – which “is written in the very nature of man and woman” (cf.GS 48 no. 1), we see that “the love of husband and wife becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos. 1603 and 1604). Our future is in God. Parents are called to be active and responsible partners in creating that future.
Parental Love more Vital than Monasticism
In essence, being a mum or dad, is a privileged means to holiness, and a more natural path to holistic maturity than monasticism. Simply put, very few other experiences, perhaps none, are as naturally geared to break the narcissistic barriers of our inherent selfishness as is the experience of child-raising. To see our own child, is to feel what God must feel, when God looks at us. Parenting is at its best in cooperating with God in all things; the compulsory and harsh martyr’s belt around us takes us where we would rather not go. Being a parent, reshapes the heart in a unique way, filling it with fellow-feeling, as compassionate as God is compassionate and merciful. Here are some beautiful inspirational insights:
The role of a mother or a father stretches the heart, just as the womb is stretched in pregnancy. This is because, among all forms of love, parental love is, perhaps, the one that most pulls our heart out of self-love.
Parenting reshapes the core of our being to help us love more like God loves (Jn.13:34; 15:12), with faithfulness and steadfastness. On seeing our own child’s fragility, feelings of inexpressible life-giving tenderness and gentleness well up in us. To be parents is to form our children in a cradle of love; sane and sound parenthood is also the “natural setting” for the care of vocations, plus the “natural and fundamental school for formation in the faith.”
Add to this a treasure-throve of good, vibrant, exquisite memories parents can create to nurture children over a lifetime. These are Pope Francis’ words of wisdom: “Like young Samuel who heard the Voice of the Lord in the quiet of the Temple (cf. 1 Sam 3), the family provides a holy space in which the Lord’s Voice may echo, and be recognized in the hearts and souls of young people. Above all, the family is the place to discern the Lord’s particular call to holiness for each of its members.”
The Craftsmanship of Parental Love
“To become father and mother is an exclusive call from God. This is an extremely attractive invitation because it transforms us, in an altogether special way, in the image and likeness of God,” says Pope Francis. To become a father and mother means that, we become who we truly are – complete and perfect as the heavenly Father wishes us to be (Mt.5:48), shaped and moulded in cyclic Trinitarian love.
The Pontiff adds, “The second word that comes to mind is Communion. We know that God is eternal communion (of love), in the diversity of the Three Persons of the Most Holy Trinity. “The triune God has revealed his plan to share the communion of Trinitarian life with parents; all humanity created in his image.
“But, don’t forget that a husband’s vocation is to render his wife a better woman for Jesus’ sake, and vice versa!” This is the craftsmanship of parental love. Make the conjugal lover walk the Godly-path every day, and be more mature-in-Christ, in the process. Christian couples experience God’s love in their love for one another and their children.
A Recipe for Holy Parenthood
Pray daily as a family in thanksgiving, and also ask for guidance and forgiveness. Talk to your children about their worries and concerns, their visions, dreams and hopes. Share meals together as often as possible; tell your children your family history. Decide together your family vision and what your significant options are. Be active members of your parish and its communities. Encourage your children to participate in the ministries of the parish.
Teach family members to fight fair, forgive and reconcile and heal one another, easily. Talk about your faith and the priests and religious who have had a good and powerful influence on you. Work to relieve stress among all family members. Have fun and play with one another each day. Encourage your children to develop their aesthetic abilities and be as creative-as-God-is, sensitive, empathetic, kind, peace-makers and merciful, knowing these are the greatest gifts of God.
Vatican II’s Path to Holiness
The Second Vatican Council, speaking directly to married people states: “Married couples and Christian parents should follow their own proper path to holiness by faithful love, sustaining one another in grace, throughout their lives.” Vatican II thus lays the foundation for a theology of marriage based on the shape of sanctity inherent in married life itself. There is no ideal life of Christian love free from visits from in-laws, noisy family meals, sex, paying bills, and watching TV. Everything about one’s partner can be a sacrament of God’s creative and healing balm: her or his body, freedom, feelings, work, play, or prayer.
Parents, Zelie and Louis Martin, as Saints
Zelie and Louis encourage us to look at the way we live our daily lives and our mission as parents, to “raise up children for God in this life, and heirs to the Kingdom of His glory in the world to come.” Let’s not forget that the Martins experienced the rhythm of life just as we do today.
All that a series of tragedies did was intensify the couple’s nuptial oneness and utter trust in God. What joy it must have brought Zelie and Louis when the five girls who survived (out of nine children), joined the Religious life; the youngest being St. Thérèse extraordinaire, of the Little Flower of the Child Jesus, is patroness of all missionaries and the missions. “My mission – to make God loved – will begin after my death,” she said.
It is appropriate that the bodies of Louis and Zélie were exhumed and buried side by side, near the apse of the Basilica of Thérèse, dedicated to their canonized child. On their graves are written the epitaph Thérèse composed, “God gave me a mother and father more worthy of heaven than of earth.” A succinct commentary on parental sainthood!
If we are parents like Zelie and Louis, and produce heavenly children akin to St. Thérèse and her four sister-nuns, we will be prophetic. According to Karl Rahner, “True prophecy calls us to penance, conversion, prayer, trust in the Victory of Christ and hope in God eternal” (Karl Rahner, Visions and Prophecies, 1963, p.105).
Parents as Missionaries
At the dawn of Christianity, Aquila and Priscilla were presented as a missionary couple (cf. Acts 18; Rm.16:3-4).Today, the Church shows forth her perennial newness and fruitfulness, by the presence of Christian couples and families, steeped in the love, zeal and exuberance of Jesus Christ, working on the fringes of society, proclaiming the Gospel, and offered service to their marginalized fellow human beings.
Christian families offer a special contribution to the missionary cause of the Church by fostering missionary vocations among their sons and daughters (cf. Vatican II Ecumenical Council, Ad Gentes, 39), and, more generally, “by training their children from childhood, to recognize God’s love for all people” (Apostolicam Actuositatem, 30).
The Roman Pontiff exhorts, “Parents are collaborators of the Holy Spirit who whispers to us Jesus’ words! Be strong and attractive evangelizers of this to your children. Make them missionaries of the Kingdom of God”. Pope Francis presented the Church with his exhortation to “seek new forms of missionary creativity” in order to “offer a word of truth and hope” to all (AL 57).
Be Spiritual Grandparents
On June 27, 2017, Pope Francis in his homily: “Be spiritual grandparents! Grandchildren look forward to you, to give them a sense of life with your experiences; not closed in on the melancholy of your stories. Instill in them your dreams – position dreams to carry on prophecy and good works.”
Pope Francis preached on the day’s First Reading, which has a dialogue between God and the elderly Abraham (Book of Genesis). In this interaction the Pope stressed three imperatives: “Arise! Look! Hope!”
Arise! “You have a mission and a task to perform, just as Abraham arose, taking only a tent; you are called to continue forward to the very end of your life.”
Look! “God tells Abraham to set his gaze on the horizon. This is mystical spirituality! The horizon doesn’t end, but as you journey on, the horizon also moves continually to challenge you.”
Hope! “In spite of his old age and the sterility of his wife, the Lord promises Abraham children, as numerous as the stars in the sky. And Abraham puts his full faith and trust in God’s word.”
And if we may encourage all grandparents: the good Lord has an enduring destiny for us: “I am your God, and I will take care of you, until you are old, and your hairs are grey. I will help you and rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4).
Conclusion
Now, this gold nugget: The Church is deeply convinced that, only by the acceptance of the Gospel are the hopes that, humanity legitimately places in marriage and in the family capable of being fulfilled.
And, this final flourish! “Holiness convinces without the need for words: it is the living reflection of the face of Christ” (Novo Millennio Ineunte, no. 7). “May we never lose heart because of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us,” Pope Francis encourages us.