By Jacqueline Colaco –
“Dad”, I hollered, “this is Jackie calling from New York. How are you and mummy?” “But Jackie isn’t here”, came the reply. “She is in New York”!
“Dad, Dad, don’t hang up; please listen to me; I am Jackie speaking, this is me, Jackie”. “But I told you she is in New York”, he persisted. My frustration began to surface as I hoped I’d be third time lucky, but sad to say the repetition did not work. My line I mean; my plea to my father to lend me his ear that heard, as long as the phone line by some stroke of good fortune carried our words across the oceans, without breaking up, clear as crystal. To me anyway! Unfortunately dad an octogenarian was hard of hearing. He used a hearing aid which he claimed magnified all the sounds he did not want to hear and obliterated those he did! Mum who could hear but was an arthritic, found it tough to rise in a hurry and attend the phone, by which time it would most often stop to ring. Hence she didn’t even try, but was able to listen in, if on occasion Dad could carry on a conversation.
When I telephoned I could picture her prompting from her chair nearby, “Tom this is our Jackie calling”, but he’d have been too busy concentrating on trying to discern who was calling, to even listen to her. Finally I’d end the exchange in disappointment, reassured only with the fact that I had heard my dear papa’s voice…
These exchanges took place while I was on a bank posting abroad. We were allowed one overseas call home every month, cost footed by the employer, and I looked forward to a chat with my parents. The above regretfully being my experience, I decided one fine day to buy my parents a cordless phone so that my mother at least could speak with me. I went down to the ubiquitous India Street in mid town Manhattan, picked up one suitable for use in the homeland and carried it back on my next leave, all ready to set it up.
Apparently during the mid ‘80s the use of cordless phones was not allowed in India and a stickler for regulations, my father flatly refused to connect the instrument, despite it being the communication need of the hour, for his wife especially. Thus the cordless phone was relegated to the depths of a drawer till I returned to India a couple of years later. Severely arthritic myself by then, I connected it for my own use too, as fortunately with a lapse of time, all these gadgets had become conventional here as well!
As to recalling my experience with Dad, history repeats itself as I now chat daily with my elder sister aged 81; also hard of hearing and not quite sure if her hearing aid assists or not . Mercifully, with callers’ ID she at least knows it’s me when I call and we chat quite some, though it calls for patience on the part of both of us to carry through till we’ve mutually conveyed our day’s news, views, joys and trials which makes the cordless companionship well worth the at times trying effort.
I read recently that cellular phones have been in vogue since 45 years. I certainly celebrate the advent of them as enablers in my life, easy to handle, easy to move around with me. I proudly boast ownership of a cordless, a smart phone and a handy little press button digital ‘dabba’ as I refer to it, to cater to my different requirements. Needless to say all hell breaks loose when the three decide to ‘tring tring’ together! Thank goodness for the variety of Ringtones and Caller ID plus affordability of phone calls today…
The above was in lighter vein, but words are truly such a powerful tool in our hands and how much we hanker after them in today’s instant communication scenario. How we use them is another matter, is it not?
‘Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil’ is sage advice, but not for us Christians in my opinion, who I think must feel a compulsion to hear and speak the good word, use it a step further to combat injustice, and engage in sensible and rational follow up action.
A constant reflection and consequent pruning of our sometimes thoughtless words is a must, be it within family, friends or among others. Gentle, kind and encouraging words are so preferable to words that demean, discourage and hurt. There are ways of conveying harsh and difficult matters in an agreeable way even if our opinion differs. Let’s dwell on this a bit. Dialogue and resolve, or amicably disagree.
The current election rallies in Karnataka are causing confusion in the minds of the electorate for the disheartening language that is spewed by candidates about rivals. When we speak words should light up the ears of those who listen, especially people unknown to us. When we hear we should be discerning in our judgements and conclusions. What we pass on should be positive, not negative. Much that is shared with us need not be passed on as it could be mere gossip. Nip such news in the bud. This takes guts!
Following the messages of the Commandments, the parables, the Sermon on the Mount which are so full of practical examples show us the right manner in which to convey words and substantiate them with life’s daily actions…
Jacqueline Colaco, who at 68, enjoys writing life-related stories with a touch of thought-provoking humour, describes herself as an ‘Armchair Minister’, a ‘People’s Person’ and a ‘Winner, not a Whiner’!
A former Bank Executive whose highly active and successful life underwent a sea change when Rheumatoid arthritis struck at age 37, she resigned when 45 and co-founded Arthritis Foundation (I). She passionately advocates for better accessibility infrastructure in India to enable mainstreaming persons with disabilities. Also promotes awareness against female foeticide/infanticide.
Owing to limited mobility and therefore largely housebound, Jacqueline’s interests range from a love of her garden to reading, music and films, TV, writing for the newspapers and other publications, interacting on social networks and visitors.
She has participated assisted by an escort in 10 marathons in her wheelchair, raising funds for disability NGOs. Also involves in a Saturday soup kitchen that feeds about a hundred hungry homeless. Enjoys her monthly outing to Catholic Club for intellectual stimulation at a book club called ‘IBrowse’.
She has retired to a Senior Citizen Home at Bengaluru to fulfill her dream of being part of community caring and sharing.
In 2010 she published her autobiography ‘Just Me, Jacqueline on My Way’ typed with a single finger!