By Fr Hervé Morissette, CSC –
Your younger children will find it normal to pray with the family, but it may not work as well with your teenagers. At the age of adolescence, many teenagers don’t want to take part in the family prayer, giving all kinds of reasons to justify themselves. We have to respect that desire of independence. Teenagers can be given the freedom to participate or not, but always after receiving repeated invitations to join the family. If they are forced to join when they don’t want to, they may develop a disgust for prayer. Again no ready-made solution will work. The best solution will always be found in prayer. On the other hand, it is advisable to start early – before the crisis of adolescence – in asking the children to develop the habit of prayer by explaining to them why we do pray as a family.
Often, they don’t like to attend Sunday Mass. So, what to tell them when you would like them to pray with the family? They are growing up and, if they question you, it is because they feel the need of a certain autonomy. If they don’t want to pray with you, it does not mean that they are not praying at all. Some of them prefer to be alone when they pray.
You may not be able to control their prayer life. Remember that God relates with them in his own way and often leads them differently from you. You did your best. Others will take turns with you: a friend, a teacher, a youth movement, etc. But your teenagers will not forget what they received from you, even if at times they get angry with you.
Pray for them. Ask them sometimes if they would be ready to attend Sunday Mass, pray the rosary or take part in the family prayer with you. And why not ask them to prepare the family prayer for a special occasion like a birth anniversary, a graduation or special liturgical feasts. It’s a matter of respect shown to them and confidence in the Lord who makes the seed of faith you planted grow in their hearts.
As they grow up, respect the choices your children make of praying with you or not. When you have an opportunity, try to motivate them to pray with you, without forcing them to do it. Accept them as they are and pray for them. Nothing is more effective than the parents’ prayer for their children and the children’s prayer for their parents.
Finally, turn the eyes of your faith to the Holy Family of Nazareth. Ask Joseph and Mary to show you the way and especially to give you the confidence you need to persevere in your efforts. And you will see how “the family that prays together stays together,” as Servant of God Patrick Peyton, CSC, often repeated.
To be continued….