By Fr Joshan Rodrigues
Let’s start at the very beginning. A friend of mine got a pre-wedding shoot done just recently. The wedding is just after Easter. Considering that we are in the season of Lent, it got me thinking about many things. First of all, what’s the deal with the whole concept of pre-wedding shoots anyway? This has become a fad in Mumbai only in the last couple of years to the extent that many consider it as a must-do. We also have pre-baby shoots. I guess its only a matter of time till the clergy begin to feel left out and start having pre-ordination shoots! (Don’t laugh! 😊 if you ever see this becoming a reality, don’t forget you first heard about it here!)
What about pre-First Holy Communion shoots, pre-Confirmation shoots, pre-Silver Anniversary shoots, pre-graduation shoots…the list goes on. I can literally hear wedding photographers smacking their lips in delight.
Some websites that I looked up say that pre-wedding shoots help the couple to get to know their photographer who’s going to be capturing one of the most important days in their life. They can talk to him/her about their likes and dislikes and the photographer also gets to understand how you photograph well so that he/she can get it right on the wedding day. Consider it a dress rehearsal.
On the one hand I think, why do couples do this anyway? (I’m talking only about the pre-shoots here, not the actual wedding day). Is it about showing the world that I’ve found the love of my life? Would pre-wedding shoots even exist in a world without social media?
Maybe not. But then there’s so much more. Couples approaching the day of their marriage are very, very excited, happy and in love. The period of courtship is one of the most beautiful moments in their life when they experience love, when they can give love and receive love. Here’s the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m imagining how my life with this person is going to be in the future, all the things we are going to do together, experience together, live together. There is excitement but also a bit of fear, a healthy apprehension I would say, which says “Is everything going to turn out all right in the days and months ahead?”
And when one has something special, one wants to tell the whole world about it. Remember our yesteryear Bollywood heroes screaming from the mountaintops “Seema! I love you!!!”? But that’s the nature of good, exciting news. It cannot be contained. We want to share our joy with others.
Now, it’s not all plain sailing either. The months before the wedding can be very anxious and demanding as well. Talk to any couple planning their wedding and you’ll realise what it takes: finalising the Caterers, the DJ, compere, booking the wedding ground, the wedding mass, the liturgy, choir, guest list, pre-marriage course, invitations, bridal dress, groom’s suit, best men and girls, roce or paani, getting your favourite priest to celebrate your nuptials….whew! I’m just about getting warmed up here. And all for that one day, a couple of hours so to speak, which matter the most. But all this is part of the fun of getting married. The preparations are part of the wedding experience.
I’m going to pause for a joke here: A senior priest shared with me that he once met a couple on their way out from the parish office where they had come to book their wedding mass and settle some of the details. After some small talk, he asked them, “So what’s the theme of your liturgy going to be?” and the to-be bride promptly replied excitedly “Red! Father”. 😊 Well I guess the priest was in his own fantasy world!
Maybe by now, you guess where I’m going with this. I thought to myself “Aren’t pre-wedding photo shoots so much like the season of Lent?” The season of Lent is not a season of mourning, but a season of expectant joy, of hope, of happiness! Because in 40 days, the Risen Lord will burst forth in all His Glory, he will take us by the hand and lead us into the Heavenly Paradise where there will be eating and drinking and dancing in front of God’s throne. Sounds a lot like a wedding banquet to me. Oh yes, that’s why Jesus keeps talking about a banquet all throughout the Gospels. Ash Wednesday is our ‘Save the Date’. The ashes on our forehead are to remind us that in 40 days, the Lord is going to come to us, the Bridegroom is going to be with us. We, therefore, need to prepare for his coming!
“When you fast do not look sad or cast down…but put oil on your head and wash your face.” Prepare yourself for the wedding feast! During Lent, we prepare for that big day, just like a couple prepares for the day of their marriage. It’s tough, it can be frustrating, there will low days, but it’s all for that big day because we want it to be perfect. We want Easter to be perfect – spiritually! Just as in pre-shoots and the photographer, Lent is our chance to get to know the Lord more closely, to see how he works in my life, what he expects of me. I need to put things in order, settle old things so that I can begin a new life.
The three Lenten practices of fasting, praying and almsgiving fit the wedding preparations perfectly as well. Couples go on diets and hit the gym to look their best on their wedding day (fasting); they spend more time than ever talking to each other (prayer) and they are busy handing out money to everyone – caterers, photographers, wedding ground managers, etc. (almsgiving). Well, it’s not a perfect comparison, but you get the gist.
So in the season of Lent, think of your own wedding preparations, whether in the past, present or when it will come in the future. It’s time to be your best for the big day.
Tomorrow: Fighting Fair: Resolving Marriage Problems Big and Small
Fr Joshan Rodrigues is from the Archdiocese of Bombay, India. He is currently studying Institutional and Church Communications at the Pontifical Holy Cross University in Rome. Travelling, reading and social media are his passions. His drive is to make Church teaching more accessible to younger audiences and he holds G.K. Chesterton, Bishop Robert Barron and the Venerable Fulton Sheen among his role models for this task. He analyses different aspects of daily Christian life and culture through catholic lenses in his blog, Musings in Catholic Land.