By Lavoisier Fernandes
If you are Catholic, one might recognise that the three Church designated vocation callings are – religious life, marriage and being single. However, within the Catholic community discourse, one needs to say that being single is not always fun. Traditionally, the single life has not been viewed as a vocation because it is not a vowed life.
The single life vocation, while overlooking its contribution to society, is sporadically denigrated, with the default vocations of marriage, religious life or consecrated life getting more prominence. This general perception also mimics our postmodern age, which indicates that single life is for partying and then a “way-station” until marriage, or between marriages, or a dumping-ground designation for those who are unable to attract a partner. On the other hand, there is also the perception that the single life vocation is only limited to the “never married,” whilst overlooking the widowed, single parents, separated, or divorced.
The social pressure, and the status impetus of getting into a perceived ‘good vocation’ sometimes for the wrong reasons, in haste, without proper preparation and discernment leads to living unfulfilled vocations. According to the Pew research Centre, among Catholics who have ever been married, roughly one-third (34%) have experienced a divorce. This high divorce rates have led to the Vatican releasing suggestions for lengthier and revamped marriage preparation, with Pope Francis saying that “superficial” marriage preparation programmes leave many couples at risk of having invalid marriages or are unprepared to cope with the struggles that arise in every marriage.
Despite the protracted formative years, religious vocations also exhibit this pattern. Not too long ago, in 2014 there were nearly 1.2 million religious’ brothers, sisters, and order and diocesan priests in the world. In 2019 or in the next five years, 5,383 of these left their priestly vocations and a good number of religious requested dispensation. There could be a number of causes for this, such as inadequate pastoral formation, or human development, cases of crises of faith, conflicts with superiors or difficulties with the magisterium, depression, and serious limitations of character or simply choosing the vocation path for the wrong reasons.
I am not, however, trying to argue for single life with these statistical numbers because the arguments mentioned above might equally apply to single life. I concur that all vocations, including marriage, priesthood, and single life, have their fair share of difficulties and trials. I also agree that, although religious life plays a major part in the Universal Church, marriage and a solid family life are essential to the development of the domestic church. But on the other hand, the single life (minus the age factor) should not be overlooked or forgotten, as it is a sacred legitimate vocation of the Church. This includes those who are on the path of discerning religious life, marriage, or who may have discerned single life as their vocation due to a variety of reasons, such as caring for their ailing family members, death of a spouse, their own health issues, following from a difficult divorce, annulment, or religious dispensation.
The Catholic Church on Single Life
The Catholic Church recognises that single life is a valid and valuable vocation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (P 1658), acknowledges the reality of the great number of single people who may be single not by their choosing but possibly by life circumstance and it reminds us to be mindful of them, inclusive and help them know that they are a part of the one family of God.
The Church through her Magisterium teachings, has promulgated the following on single life:
- For those not called to marriage or consecrated life, the single life can be a way to live out the vocation received in baptism, offering a particular witness through personal growth. (Christus Vivit, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of Pope Francis, 2018)
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Some single people may not feel especially “called” to the single state, but find themselves unmarried for various reasons, such as not finding the right person to marry. In these cases, God still calls them to live and love in their present circumstances. (Cherishing Life by the Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales)
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The Church recognises diverse “vocations” or paths within the lay state, including various forms of secular institutes that allow lay people and even priests to profess the evangelical counsels while maintaining their lay or clerical state.(Christifideles Laici, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of Pope John Paul II, 1988)
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Many unmarried people make great contributions through service in their communities, churches, and professional lives, though their presence and contributions are sometimes overlooked, leading to a sense of isolation. (Christus Vivit, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of Pope Francis, 2018)
How can the Church recognise the value of Single life?
- Provide Pastoral Care and Support: The Church should ensure that “the doors of homes, the ‘domestic churches,’ and of the great family, which is the Church, must be open to all of them.” (CCC 1658). Divorced Catholics who have not remarried should be “encouraged to find in the Eucharist the nourishment they need to sustain them in their current state of life.” The church also has a long history of ministry to and by widows, which should be recognised.
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Recognize the Witness of Single Catholics: The Church recognises that single Catholics, including those who remain faithful to their marriage vows after separation or divorce or the death of a spouse “uphold an important value” and “bear witness to the sanctity of marriage.” Their testimony can be meaningful and offer an example to others.
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Provide Formation and Preparation: Just as the Church prepares priests and religious for their vocations, and for those lay faithful who feel called to accept the vocation of marriage. The Church should also offer similar formation and preparation for those called to the single life.
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Encourage Community and Friendship: The Church acknowledges that “the support of friendship is vital” for those living the single life, especially in sustaining their vocation. The Church should foster a sense of community and belonging for single Catholics.
God is the author of our vocation, and the vocation to Holiness is Ultimately What Matters.
In many Catholic circles, finding a ‘vocation’ is held up as the ‘be all and end all’ goal, and the notion that if you want to be holy, you’d better figure out this puzzle from God between the three vocations of religious life, marriage, or single life. However, our vocation is chosen by God and not something chosen by us and ultimately the primary and most fundamental vocation is the call to Holiness. It is only through the vocation of holiness that we can fulfil our secondary vocation be it religious life, marriage, or single life.
Holiness is the Universal Call of the Church. Holiness is the perfection of the love of God within us and Holiness is only possible by God’s love and grace. No matter our state in life: priests, religious, married, or single – we are all called to be holy witnesses to Christ in all circumstances and in every moment of our lives.(Lumen Gentium-Constitution of the Church, Vatican II)
To that end, let us pray that men and women have the courage to embrace the supernatural calls to priesthood and religious life. Pray for an increase in virtue and chastity that can lead to healthy and holy marriages. And pray for all people to answer the universal call to holiness, each day, in the variety of ways God calls them.
Lavoisier Fernandes, born and raised in Goa, is currently based in West London. His faith is “work in progress”- and a lifelong journey. He has always been fascinated by the Catholic faith thanks to his Salesian schooling and his passion is podcasting, theology, the papacy, volunteering.
He has hosted the ‘Talking Faith’ series for Heavens Road FM Catholic Radio, connecting with ordinary men and women within the Catholic faith, other faiths and examining issues affecting both Church and society and has also hosted the ‘Heart Talk’ series for Shalom World Catholic TV. In 2018 one of his podcast -Mental Health and the role of the Catholic Church was shortlisted for the Jerusalem awards in UK. Presently contributes for the Goa Diocesan magazine – Renovação, Mumbai Diocesan magazine – The Examiner, the only digital Indian Catholic portal – Indian Catholic Matters and the Faith Companion Magazine in England.