By Dr. Jeanette Pinto –
The Fourth Commandment reads: “Honour thy Father and Mother.” It means not only when they are young, agile and productive but also when they are old, frail and join the ranks of the elderly. Ask them how they feel about getting older and they will probably reply that old age is not so bad if you overlook the stiffening of joints, weakening muscles, fading eyesight, clouding of memory and the like, but it is better than the fear of death. The surprising part as people grow older is they lose things they treasure; vitality, freedom, mental sharpness and looks, but they also gain the unseen joys of the elderly.
The Ageing process in human beings is a wonderful, continuous, complex part of life. It is an inevitable process of growing older and one must acknowledge and appreciate it. The bodies of the elderly take longer to digest foods, to burn up fat, the skin becomes supple and the same applies to the bones. In many cultures, taking care of elders is seen as a natural rite of passage, rather than a burden. Elders also gradually become more clumsy and prone to falls and accidents, hearing, eyesight and other faculties start to fail, even teeth start plucking.
Despite all this how can the elderly be joyful and happy? Firstly, thank God they have arrived at the apex of their life, like on top of the mountain where one can breathe freely. Bask in the luxury of a long life of experience, knowledge, honour and know that many moons have come and gone in your life. You have crossed many bridges, tackled many crossroads, puffed and heaved your way through, but have now reached the top. The wrinkles in your face are marks of distinction that show character traits, laugh lines and worries. You may have lost your style, gained weight or a stoop, but thank God you can still breathe and listen to your heart beat. The silver sheen in your hair makes you look distinctive with honour. The Book of Proverbs 20:29 tells of, “…..the beauty of old men is the grey head.”
You can dream of yesteryears, and enjoy the flood of memories of the ‘good ole days’. Recall the fun times you had in school, college and in your youth. Life gave you a wealth of knowledge not learned in books. You had the joys of community. Without family, friends, neighbours and fellow members of clubs, churches and associations, there is no one to receive your gifts and listen to your stories. The blessings of age, like perspective, wisdom, and appreciation for the everyday wonders of life are best shared. To see older adults living a good life whether they have impairments, illnesses or not, is good for society.
Perhaps you went through life with hard knocks of experience; you can teach others a few things about life. The younger generation have been deprived of the joys of the outdoor life, namely wild picnics, adventure walks, cycling, and riding in horse buggy’s called ‘tongas’. They have not had the thrills of going for moonlit hikes, camping as scouts or girl guides and hitching rides in oxen driven carts to the nearby village fair. Remember the rough and tumble games you played, with sticks and stones, those are joys one does not experience today. Reminiscences of the love letters you wrote to your special friend and spying the postman down the lane. Bring out the photo albums and spend hours enjoying the past.
Aging cannot be stopped and it will not until death overtakes us. Do not think, “I am useless” “What can I do?” Many people who have not had the opportunity that you perhaps have had. The most vibrant elders are those who are active and engaged, caring for others, volunteering their time, doing what they can do to help the house bound and make the world a better place. The open-heartedness, the pro-life attitude does not seek recompense, but it makes it more of a joy to give back to society what you have received.
Old age is a time to celebrate the full cycle of life and it’s a time when we can find deep fulfilment and happiness. Keep in touch with your children, enjoy your grandchildren, and partake in their joys. You have done your parenting job and completed your responsibilities. Interfering in your children’s family affairs is a No! No! Let them make their decisions, and take on their responsibilities. To be truly happy in the depths of your soul, inner happiness must be cultivated, and it is never too late to learn how to do it.
Joy and happiness cannot be bought, you have to find them. Don’t conform to age stereotypes, if you enjoy something, get out and do it, as long as it does not interfere with your health. Eat healthy, raw veggies, fruit and nuts daily. Avoid over eating, smoking and unhealthy substances. Try sports like jogging, swimming, yoga and aerobics to maintain optimum fitness level. Most of all, old age affords the luxury of time. Spend it with someone who is lonely, wants a listening ear, or needs some assistance; this is life giving.
Spend time with the Creator. Sit peacefully and meditate on the pro-life attitude of Jesus. Pray, read the Holy Scriptures and live life to the fullest, stay involved with your spiritual growth. Read a spiritual book for one hour each day, it can inspire you leading to inner happiness. Dispel any negative thoughts, and live in the moment. Such are the joys of the elderly. They are your gifts to yourself. You may even love an animal, adopt an orphan or uplift a widow to brighten their future. Stop fearing death. Most important, connect with family, friends and loved ones, AND have a personal relationship with your Lord and Master, God.
Dr Jeanette Pinto, an educator for the past 5 decades, headed the Department of History was Vice Principal of St. Xavier’s College Mumbai, and retired as Principal of Sophia College, Mumbai. She is a counsellor and conductor of Personal Enrichment Programmes for students and teachers.
Dr Pinto set up the Human Life Committee in the Archdiocese of Bombay. As a sex educator she has given talks on Human Sexuality in India and abroad. In 2014 she received the Rachana Outstanding Woman of the Year for her Pro-life work presented by the Diocese of Mangalore. She has attended many National and International Pro-life conferences and given talks at other fora on various women’s issues.
Dr Pinto is author of a couple of books, her most recent ones are titled: I’m Pro-Life Are you? & Sex Talk: Parent to Child. She has also written a number of articles on a variety of themes and subjects, which have been published in research journals, The Examiner and other Catholic publications.