By Susanna D –
Until a couple of years ago, I had never been a consistent daily Mass-goer, which was fairly shocking, considering that I had been a full-time Catholic volunteer for the previous five years. That didn’t mean I never went for daily Mass, or for weekday Mass, just never seven days a week. It was usually once or twice a week (apart from Sunday Mass), if that.
There are a few reasons for this.
1. I sometimes am tempted to behave like a lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined slacker.
- I have a horrible time with early mornings, which was usually the most convenient weekday Mass option, and am sluggish and unproductive the rest of the day when I have a too early morning. (Too early for me = anything before 7 am)
- I used to teach tuition in the slum in the evenings when the daily evening Mass was held. (But don’t any more.)
- I’m scared to make commitments that I think I’m going to break. (My thought is, ‘I won’t make an official commitment, I’ll just start doing it, and see how it goes.’) But if I don’t make the commitment, I don’t do it at all. Catch 22.
- I swing between feeling guilty about everything and being totally slack about everything- being too hard on myself and being too soft on myself. So in order to avoid feeling guilty all the time, I avoid expecting anything of myself. An unhealthy cycle.
- It’s not obligatory, like Sunday Mass, or like my commitment to daily personal prayer (which is a requirement in my organization), so it’s not like it’s that bad that I’m missing yet another opportunity for grace.. right? Right?
I am super good at making excuses for things that require any kind of effort or sacrifice.
Why (and how) I actually made a commitment to going to daily Mass two years ago:
- I realized I was a full-time single Catholic volunteer! I had NO real excuse for not going… like oh, I was up all night with the baby, or oh, I have a nine hour office job plus two hour commuting every day, so I’m exhausted. In fact, some of those people still make it to weekday Mass.
- I was surrounded by a team of holy, Catholic women who made it to daily Mass which makes me compare myself and feel guilty which I chose to accept as an inspiring gift from the Lord to help this weak sinner on the way to holiness.
- I had just moved to the beautiful largely Catholic state of Goa, and daily Mass was a beautiful 10 minute walk (or 2 minute bike ride) away from my new home at 7 am.
- I had just read this scripture:
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose hope is the LORD. He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream: It fears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green; In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit.
To be this green, fruitful tree, to find peace when I’m prone to anxiety, to respond to the unexpected circumstances and changes and people in my life with grace, to be holy instead of just talking about holiness, to grow in Christian maturity, to go deeper still, further into God’s heart… I needed to sip of the Living Water, yes, through contemplative prayer, but also through chewing on the Way-Bread. (Yes, two food analogies in one sentence.)
5. I was aware that I was sometimes tempted to behave like a lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined slacker… and I knew I needed grace, the undeserved shot of Christ-life, to be different. “The Eucharist is the secret of my day. It gives strength and meaning to all my activities of service to the church and to the whole world.”Pope Saint John Paul II
- I needed to start things, commit to things, even if I was scared I wouldn’t complete them, because not starting the race was the surest way not to complete it, and there was at least a chance of getting somewhere if I started walking. Plus I decided to think about all the free doses of humility when I was sure to mess up!
- Every time I forced myself out of bed, and actually went to meet Jesus in the Eucharist, my heart rejoiced, my spirit sang. There was a sweetness in the little yeses.
It’s been two years now, and though there have been a few failures, for the most part, daily Mass has become a normal and life-giving part of my day. Apparently, setting goals and making commitments is really a good idea! Who knew?
Lenten challenge: Ask someone to accompany you to daily Mass this Lent. If I can do it, you can do it! If you already go for daily Mass, pray for those who struggle with getting there.
Susanna D serves with Emmaus Catholic Volunteers, an organization of full-time lay Catholic singles and families who serve the poor and share the Gospel through a culture of encounter in various dioceses in India. She blogs at Keeping It Real: Diary of a Not Very Indian Girl and Keeping It Salty: Diary of an Indian Catholic Volunteer