By Tom Thomas –
At the start of the New Year, Pope Francis began to focus on the Virtues and Vices that plague humanity as whole and our era in particular. His points plumb deep into our consciousness as Christians in name and in fact.
The General Audience on 17th January 2024, covers the vice that comes after gluttony. The Holy Father says, “the ancient Fathers teach us that, after gluttony, the second ‘demon’ – that is, vice – that is always crouching at the door of the heart is that of lust, called porneia in Greek. While gluttony is voracity with regard to food, this second vice is a kind of ‘voracity’ with regard to another person, that is, the poisoned bond that human beings have with each other, especially in the sphere of sexuality.”
The modern-day technological advancements, where almost everyone has access to a smartphone or digital device, also make it easier to fall into this vice than in the past. After all, everything is just a click away. Including fantasies of lust. This is very dangerous.
The Holy Father says, “If it is not polluted by vice, falling in love is one of the purest feelings. A person in love becomes generous, enjoys giving gifts, writes letters and poems. He stops thinking of himself to be completely focused on the other. This is beautiful! And if you ask a person in love, “Why do you love?” they won’t have an answer: In so many ways their love is unconditional, without any reason. You must have patience if that love, which is so powerful, is also a little naive: lovers do not really know the face of the other; they tend to idealise them; they are ready to make promises whose weight they don’t immediately grasp. This ‘garden’ where wonders are multiplied is not, however, safe from evil. It is defiled by the demon of lust, and this vice is particularly odious for at least two reasons. At least two.”
The two reasons are “First, because it destroys relationships between people. To prove such a reality, unfortunately, the daily news is sufficient. How many relationships that began in the best of ways have then turned into toxic relationships of possession of the other, lacking respect and a sense of limits? These are loves in which chastity has been missing: a virtue not to be confused with sexual abstinence—chastity is something different from sexual abstinence—but rather must be connected with the will never to possess the other. To love is to respect the other, to seek his or her happiness, to cultivate empathy for his or her feelings, to dispose of oneself in the knowledge of a body, a psychology, and a soul that are not our own, and that must be contemplated for the beauty they bear. That is love, and love is beautiful.
Lust, on the other hand, makes a mockery of all this: lust plunders, it robs, it consumes in haste; it does not want to listen to others but only to its own needs and pleasure; lust judges every courtship a bore, it does not seek that synthesis between reason, drive, and feeling that would help us to conduct existence wisely. The lustful seeks only shortcuts; he does not understand that the road to love must be travelled slowly, and this patience, far from being synonymous with boredom, allows us to make our loving relationships happy.
But there is a second reason why lust is a dangerous vice. Among all human pleasures, sexuality has a powerful voice. It involves all the senses; it dwells both in the body and in the psyche, and this is very beautiful; but if it is not disciplined with patience, if it is not inscribed in a relationship and in a story where two individuals transform it into a loving dance, it turns into a chain that deprives human beings of freedom. Sexual pleasure, which is a gift from God, is undermined by pornography. Satisfaction without relationships can generate forms of addiction. We have to defend love—the love of the heart, of the mind, of the body—pure love in the giving of oneself to the other. And this is the beauty of sexual intercourse.”
Looking at the lives of those who were enjoying happy married lives before the vice of lust affected one partner shows the unhappiness that this vice brings in, often inflicting permanent scars and damage on the sacred marital relationship. The digital world, which provides easy access to pornography these days, also tries to suggest to us that no one would know if such sites are visited in Incognito or InPrivate modes. But that is not correct at all, as the one who visited would know and get scarred, and as the habit gets stronger, the vice gets more ingrained. The dangers of lust, which seem so pleasurable and harmless, initially create havoc in our souls and spirits.
Memory, imagination, and intellect all suffer as we give in to lust. Those who watch pornography expect sex in the same manner, which is not reality. Relationships that are meant to be intimate get damaged and become selfish and self-centred. We only have to look at the life of the great St Augustine, who was plagued by lust and wanting to change but still in the grip of the vice said, “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” We too cannot remain in this vice; we have to come out of this by first going for confession and, if required, seeking help from the right sources to overcome it. I have noticed that once young people study and grasp “The Theology of the Body” (by St. Pope John Paul II) they restrain themselves from indulging in offending the temple of the Holy Spirit.
As Pope Francis summarises, “Winning the battle against lust, against the “objectification” of the other, can be a lifelong endeavour. But the prize of this battle is the most important of all, because it is preserving that beauty that God wrote into His creation when He imagined love between man and woman, which is not for the purpose of using one another but of loving one another. That beauty that makes us believe that building a story together is better than going in search of adventures – there are so many Don Juans out there; building a story together is better than going in search of adventures; cultivating tenderness is better than bowing to the demon of possession—true love does not possess; it gives itself; serving is better than conquering. Because if there is no love, life is sad; it is a sad loneliness.”
Let us remember the great Saints who struggled with this vice and emerged victorious:
“To defend his purity, Saint Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow and rose-bush, Saint Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, and Saint Bernard plunged into an icy pond… You – what have you done?” – Josemaria Escriva