Thinking About Suicide? Let’s Talk…

By Ingrid Albuquerque-Solomon – 

There is a Beast stalking the whole earth, convincing people they are better off dead. His name is not ‘blue whale’  though blue whale was conceptualised by one of the Beast’s minions. I will tell you his name later, right now, let’s focus on what Beast is trying to do to you. He has made you hate yourself, which is why you are unable to live with yourself and are thinking of suicide.

He convinced musician Karan Joseph about the same, and now he is trying to do it to you. I was asleep when Karan got conned. However, I am wide awake right now, let’s have a conversation. I want to deal with the lies of this Beast, many falsehoods he has planted in your consciousness, to turn you against yourself:

  1. He insists : “You are an idiot and you’ve badly messed up your life. He tells you to, ‘Just end it and you will be free.’”

To discourage  you, the Beast has used mistakes you may have made, which are part of human existence: Failure, betrayal, rejection, helplessness about the future, drugs, alcohol abuse, sexual misconduct, loss of job, illness and affliction, being cheated in a property deal, stuff like that. You’ve begun to believe you’ve blown your life badly; the blunders you have committed are sickening, nobody wants to have anything to do with you; you are the laughing stock of society.

Well, take it from me (I have been a counsellor for decades!), IT’S A LIE! You have not made any mistake that I, my friends or yours, and many others in society, have not made before. Sure, we felt deeply ashamed and angry with self for a while, but it passed on; we healed, became fine, and are now on top of the world. God and Society forgave and forgot. So what should you do?

TELL THE BEAST: “Scram, you liar, get out from here. I have made mistakes, many of them. Each time, God brought me out of shame and self pity and He will do it again.”

Then close your eyes  and pray: ‘Lord you brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, so many times. Now too, I implore you to set my feet upon and rock and make my footsteps firm.’(Psalm 40:2)

2. His beastly taunts continue to ring in your ears, “You are biological waste, a drain on those who once loved you. You are a worthless human being, the world is better off without you.”

He summons his evil capacity he possesses to remind you of loose and cruel remarks friends, enemies, relatives, and especially immediate family may have made during altercations with you. He makes it sound very credible and condemnable. You are persuaded you will be doing the world a favour through a quick exit; people will be happier without you.

Believe me, THAT’S CHEAP UNTRUTH! Suicide has a damning impact on all involved. When someone ends life, many are flung into an abyss of great loss, despair and guilt. As you read this, are you thinking you would enjoy their guilt? How can you enjoy it? If you do what Beast is pushing you to, you will not be around to see their regret or guilt. Know what’s the right action to take?

SHOUT HIM DOWN: “I don’t believe you. It is not true that I am unloved. I may not be able to see it now because of the state I am in and the dark clouds, but there are people who care for me.”

Pray loudly: ‘Lord God, break through the dark clouds. Be my refuge, let me feel your everlasting arms under me.’(Deuteronomy 33:27)

3. Beast is relentless, “Hardly anybody know you now. Don’t delay. Do what I tell you –end your life, you will make a name for yourself, create a legacy, so that others will see the way to lasting fame.”

Ere now, you will get a glimpse of his warped thinking. He is trying to call his whole ugly plan, a legacy! Using every trick in his dirty book to bring before your eyes visuals of posters of you, youtube videos like Nabeel Qureshi’s, talk shows on the news channels on your death, front page stories, candle light march visuals for you, all mourning and weeping for you day and night, for many seasons.

Please recognise that this is SHEER DECEIT! Of course there will be those who will occasionally think of you with regret, but the truth is that life goes on. There will be no fame, and subsequent thoughts about you are likely to be pushed aside – the world does not like a loser, and that’s the category you will be placed in. What can you do to avoid it? Fight it.

SPIT AT HIM. “What you are trying to tell me is that I can make a name for myself by actually ending it instead of living it. Why me – why have you been stalking and trailing me and not somebody else? Why are you pushing me with this sense of urgency. I don’t think I like you, I don’t think I want you around.”

CRY TO GOD: ‘Lord, all this time I thought the sense of evil was just a notion, something that resided in people’s imaginations. Now I know this ‘thing’ is for real. God is a person. Evil is also a person. Help me, Lord God. You said You are the light, you can wipe out the darkness; that you can help me overcome this moment because You are in me, and You are infinitely greater than that ‘creepy thing’ out there who is trying to destroy the world. Save me!’ (1 John 4:4)

4. He does not give up easily, this dirty thing with a Capital B. He stands right over you and speaks straight into your brain, “Look inside of you. You do not have a shred of hope. You can’t go on. You know that you cannot face this pain anymore. The trial is too hard. There’s no tunnel, no light. Let the darkness drink you into nothingness. Don’t be a coward, be strong in your resolve – finish things – finale, finale!”

He is saying the opposite of what he knows is true; what the Beast actually means in, ‘Don’t  be strong, be a coward, if you can’t do it, simply say the word, and I will help you to finish yourself.’

This is always the part I love best (through my counselling sessions): YOU SEE THROUGH THE TRANSPARENT LIE! Even as he is growling on, you realise it’s not true that you can’t go on, or that life is too hard to face. You feel amazing strength coming into you. You know it is not coming from the ‘thing’. It’s a good strength, it dispels the weakness and you don’t need me anymore to prompt you with your response. You say it yourself literally shouting with joy:

WITH CONFIDENCE. “If you know all things, you should know by now, that I have seen through you, and know you are a distorter of the Truth. It has suddenly come back to me, sweet memories of childhood. God reminding me in story after story in His word that He will love me and never leave me, that He will use everything including the struggles that I have had to turn my life around for good and somehow to help others.”

YOUR HEART WILL OVERFLOW WITH PRAYER: ‘O Jesus, how could I have gone so far from you? In spite of that, You did not leave me alone even for a minute. No wonder You are called the Hound of Heaven. You never give up! From this day onward, I will cling to Your promise, for You said I should not fear, for You are with me; also that I should not be anxious for You will help me, strengthen me, and uphold me with Your righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)Thank You, Lord. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus – I will love Thee all the days of my life.’

Have you noticed how the dark place you were standing in, suddenly filled with brightness. The lightness in your spirit is because the heaviness has been taken away and been replaced with bubbling happiness. The problems and difficulties are not gone but you know that you will be able to successfully work out way around them. You no longer want to die, you want to live for all you are worth and for all your life. You turn around to inform the Beast about it. You look this way and that, but there is no sign of him. You are amazed. What happened to the Beast, where did He disappear? It’s a moment of amazing revelation for you. You have received proof that the Beast is not hallucination, emotion, or notion. That those suicidal thoughts were not flowing from your heart. They were being pumped into your vulnerability by an evil monster who has now turned tail and fled. Why?

He ran for his dirty life the minute he heard that Name, that Name above all Names.

Because Satan cannot bear the Name of Jesus, which has led him to defeat after defeat.

Welcome to the lovely new land of purposeful living, in Jesus’ Name.


Ingrid Albuquerque-Solomon has been in the mainstream media in India for 37 years. After heading magazines like STARDUST, SOCIETY, SAVVY, ISLAND and FAMILY LIFE, she was the founder editor of BANGALORE TIMES. Besides a post-graduation in Mass Media, as well as additional diplomas in Environmental Science and International Human Rights Law, Ms. Albuquerque has also done her Masters in Theology (Pastoral Care) through TAFTEE in affiliation with the University of Wales.


1. The ‘Blue Whale Challenge’ is a social network game which consists of a series of tasks assigned to players by administrators over a 50-day period, with the final challenge requiring the player to commit suicide.
2. On 9th September,2017, Bengaluru pianist Karan Joseph jumped to death from a Mumbai high-rise building.