By Jacqueline Colaco
Rheumatoid arthritis has slowly decreased my ability to move normally so I limp around. My fingers too are bent out of shape. It is a struggle to sit down or rise from a low seat and to manouevre myself into a vehicle. Some kids exhibit a fear to shake my deformed hand while others boldly ask what happened to it. For years now coping with my disability and encountering it in fellow arthritis sufferers and others at disability organizations where I’ve volunteered or the senior citizen’s home where I live is my way of life.
I’ve even got used to the stares of strangers as though I’m someone from outer space, and it was only when a friend who worked at HR in an MNC asked me to come and share with their employees during their ‘diversity and inclusion’ week, how able persons could be comfortable with persons with disability, did I realize what a chasm of discomfort and curiosity existed in the minds of even educated people in their approach to those less able. These can also include the aged whose faculties may diminish in performance over time. Recently when I touched on this topic of merging ‘able with less able’ in a relevant post on my FB page it threw up plenty of ‘likes’…
I want to share my opinions though I hardly consider myself disabled, considering that I lead as fulfilled a life as possible within my constraints, and can’t bear it when someone greets me with this “How sad you’re like this” stuff and spouts advice. I’ve relinquished what’s beyond my ability to achieve and request assistance for these if I deem it necessary. There’s plenty left for me to tackle in the ‘can do’ category.
Please don’t feel awkward when you encounter a person with disability. Yes, some persons are visually unattractive, disfigured, difficult to comprehend in their speech, maybe hard of hearing and it takes adjustment and immense patience in dealing with them. But I assure you, most are not lacking in intelligence and comprehension of what is going on around them, so please make the effort to be at ease and diplomatic with such persons as you would be among yourselves. Certain categories may be childlike and therefore more understanding and sensitivity is called for in such interactions.
Sensitivity is also very important when offering a helping hand. It should be instinctive but not overbearing, and leave it to the recipient to decide on manner of acceptance as most disabled persons will provide precise guidance if and when physical assistance is required. This will ease handling and pain to the receiver and avoid sudden resistance or withdrawal which may offend the helper, if the assisted is taken by surprise.
At times no outreach may be called for as plenty of persons with disability (PWDs) are so independently able! Modified infrastructure, aids and appliances will certainly encourage and enable more persons with disability to be independent and empowered to mainstream into public echelons so such apprehension, social stigma or reluctance to accept and end the divide slowly disappears in our society! Let’s contribute our awareness creation and action towards this aspect!
BEATITUDES OF THE DISABLED
Blessed are they who don’t shun me
Just because I have a disability
Blessed are they whose concern for me
Goes beyond pity and charityBlessed are they who make me feel
That I should be given an equal deal
Blessed are they who think I should be
Given a chance to develop the skills in meBlessed are they who encourage me
To overcome the embarrassment of disability
Blessed are they who don’t hide me away
Just because I am different from theyBlessed are they who because I am blind
Don’t also think I have no mind
Blessed are they who do not balk
When I dribble all over or struggle to talkBlessed are they who are patient and kind
Knowing it takes time to work things in my mind
Blessed are they who looked away
When I was clumsy at mealtime todayBlessed are they who put themselves out
To include me too in what they’re about
Blessed are they who give me way (in a queue)
Knowing I can’t stand as long as theyBlessed are they with a cheery smile
Who stopped to chat for a little while
Blessed are they who see in me
A person of WORTH & ABILITY!(adapted from Beatitudes of the Aged) by Jacqueline Colaco
THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR’
Jacqueline Colaco at 68 describes herself as an ‘Armchair Minister’, a ‘People’s Person’ and a ‘Winner, not a Whiner’!
A former Bank Executive whose highly active and successful life underwent a sea change when Rheumatoid arthritis struck at age 37, she resigned when 45 and co-founded Arthritis Foundation (I). She passionately advocates for better accessibility infrastructure in India to enable mainstreaming persons with disabilities. Also promotes awareness against female foeticide/infanticide.
Owing to limited mobility and therefore largely housebound, Jacqueline’s interests range from a love of her garden to reading, music and films, TV, writing for the newspapers and other publications, interacting on social networks and visitors.
She has participated assisted by an escort in 10 marathons in her wheelchair, raising funds for disability NGOs. Also involves in a Saturday soup kitchen that feeds about a hundred hungry homeless. Enjoys her monthly outing To Catholic Club for intellectual stimulation at a book club called ‘IBrowse’.
She has retired to a Senior Citizen Home at Bengaluru to fulfill her dream of being part of community caring and sharing.