By Sunil Mahajan –
I am sure you have you come across this tag line “Tum aadami nahi ho or you are not a man”. This is a commonly used when at times people choose not to stand up for something or even decide to different choice in a situation.
When was the last time that you actually laughed at yourself? Either making a silly mistake or made a different choice that you thought was crazy.
Emotions are a gift from God and we need to understand emotions are good as long as they help us be in control. ‘Let me Manage my Emotions and not my Emotions manage me’. We need to become aware of three factors, How I think, speak and behave. These 3 factors will contribute to make us to becoming better person.
Understanding that what we think affects how we feel and how we behave helps us learn effective ways of managing emotions. Unhelpful thoughts lead us to feel bad and can stop us from doing what we want to do. Helpful thoughts lead to more positive feelings and effective behaviours.
So, the questions that we need to ask here is, Why is it important to manage emotions? How do we express our emotions?
Accept your feelings, they are okay. It is how you behave when you feel something intensely that can become problematic.
Last year we at home were faced with a difficult situation with my eldest son choosing not to go church and that made me very upset and I remember at times losing my cool and flaring at him in the attempt to make him understand the importance go to church. At times I was successful and sometimes it was disastrous.
Today, when I look back and see how things have changed for the good, I give the credit to prayer I always found to help me; Lord to me Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I can go on to share more examples from my life where at times I had been in control of my emotions and where I have struggled. We all need to learn how to use our experiences to and to try not to repeat the same. There is the challenge.
I would like to share 6 simple ways to help us be in control of our emotions.
- Don’t react right away. Reacting immediately to emotional triggers can be an immense mistake.
- Ask for divine guidance.
- Find a healthy outlet.
- See the bigger picture.
- Replace your thoughts.
- Forgive your emotional triggers.
Becoming self-aware of our triggers is the first step to handling our emotions. We need to use God given prudence to choose our battles wisely rather than diving into everything that comes our way. Self-control can, and will, greatly impact your life in ways unimaginable!
Lastly, I would like to say Emotions can rule your life – or you can control them. It’s worthwhile learning how to control your emotions, even if it’s just so that you can respond rationally in tough situations, and not allow your thoughts to drag you down.
Sunil Mahajan is the founder and director of Pathfinder, a catholic ministry that is involved in working with various institutions in South India. Pathfinder acts as a catalyst to bring about transformation in families, teachers and students. He can be reached at: [email protected]