Youth’s Cry: Walk With Me, Please!

By Fr. Glenford Lowe, SDB – 

Do we fear the young, or find fault with them, or walk with them as friends?

A look at what we can do for our youth, and a foretaste of next year’s Synod, which is dedicated to youth.

Salum was just a young lad of fourteen. Born in a little village called Maskati-Shinyanga in Tanzania, he had few avenues to success. Education, he knew, was the key to a bright future. In 1995, we began our Don Bosco Secondary School at Didia, Tanzania. Suddenly, things began to change. Hope dawned. Light shone at the end of the tunnel. The first batch of ninety-two kids enrolled themselves! The first few preparatory months focused only on English and Math.

Then the rains failed, and the fields went dry. Starvation stared people in the face. No money to pay the school fees! “Why is life so unfair?” the boy questioned. Desperate to educate himself, he soon dropped out of school. He begged for ten days. He hardly ate nor slept. Under the starry skies, he still held on to his dream. I soon discovered that Salum was absent from school for a considerable time. No one knew his whereabouts. Salum landed one evening at my door step—famished, dirty, tear-eyed. He broke his story to me. “Dad has refused to pay my school fees,” he confessed. “But I want to study and make a difference in society.” I embraced him and said, “Then, this is the school for you. You can remain here as long as you want. School fees are not important. This school is built for youngsters like you. Let’s journey together and make your dream come true.”

The young lad beamed a smile I can still see. He pursued his studies, journeyed in faith and was accompanied by a group of committed teachers and priests. Twenty-two years later, the young lad, Salum Masudi is now the Manyoni District Education Officer in Tanzania. He heads 680 teachers and 42,967 students. Recently, he sent me a WhatsApp message: “I face a lot of educational challenges here. The drop-out rate in primary schools here is 45%. I know where I came from. Your accompanying presence made me believe in myself. I promise to accompany my teachers and students on the same path you walked with me many years ago. Am ever grateful to you all.”

Journeying together is the call of the day! Young people need us to walk with them.

Called to Journey with the Young:

In church language, a SYNOD simply means ‘journeying together’. From its beginning until the late 19^thcentury, the Catholic church had twenty Ecumenical Councils, each of them defending or defining a dogma of faith. Vatican II (1962-65), the twenty-first Ecumenical Council came as a breath of fresh air, a new Pentecost. Pope John XXIII, while conveying Vatican II, invited the church in the modern world to be more pastoral. ‘Be aware’, ‘renew’ and ‘dialogue’ were the three key words! Over the last five decades the Church has made attempts to listen to the Body of Christ in its triple role of teaching the faith, defending the faith and sanctifying her people. Listening to the young became a key pastoral ministry.

Youth have always been and will always continue to be at the heart of the church. Pope John Paul II was a youth icon in every sense. Young people clung on to his words till his very last breath. The many World Youth Days (WYD) acted like a catalyst to bring the young people of the world to celebrate and live their faith. The saintly Pope would often affirm, “Young people are the main protagonists of the third millennium and to them belongs the destiny of humanity.” Pope Benedict XVI, in his very first visit to South America, at the Paulo Machado de Carvalho municipal stadium of Pacaembu, asked a very pertinent question before 40,000 young people gathered there, “What would the Church be without young people?” He gave the answer himself, “Without the young, the Church would be a very disfigured face.”

Pope Francis has taken this ‘journey together with the young’ to greater heights. No other pontiff has ever challenged the young through his personal life style, lucid allegories and metaphors, and intuitive invitations to live and love their faith. On January 13, 2017, in presenting the Preparatory document of the Synod on Youth 2018, “Young People, the Faith and Vocational Discernment”, the Holy Father spoke to the young people thus, “I wanted this Synod on the Youth because I wanted you to be the centre of attention, because you are in my heart.” He further added, “I want the young people to share in the same ‘Joy of the Gospel’ and the ‘Joy of Love’ that was recently proposed to all families.

Youth: The Centre of Attention

To neglect the youth is to lose humanity forever. Saints, philosophers, statesmen and politicians know the importance of this vital segment of society. In his book, Facing Mount Kenya, Jomo Kenyatta, Kenya’s first president, would write: “Youth are not apart from God, they are a part of God.” Don Bosco, the great ‘Teacher and Friend’ of youth would constantly affirm, “It is enough for me to know that you are young, for me to love you!”. And yet sadly, over the years right from Socrates and Plato, we have fallen into the myth in believing that every young generation is worse than the former! Today, the question we ask is this, “is our adult generation suffering from ‘ephebiphobia’ – the fear of young people?” The forthcoming Synod on Youth wishes to place on record that the young people are the centre of our attention because they are close to our hearts too.

Ephebiphobia: Overcoming the fear

To step into this world of the young, I need to take off my own shoes: my old mindsets, my routine ways, my judgemental attitudes, my presumptions. This is no easy task. We adults have been moulded in a rigid stereotyped cast fortified by tradition and limited alternatives. I cannot cling on to the adage ‘when I was your age’ formula for today’s unlimited alternatives. I grew up in a small village with no electricity, no television, no malls and evening entertainments. With crawling scorpions and the darkness of the evening, my only choice was to get early to bed! Today’s youngsters, at sunset, have infinite alternatives to choose from – food habits, entertainments, travels, businesses, social net-workings, spiritualities. Limited by my own past, I easily fall into the trap of ‘ephebiphobia’. It is easier to fear young people than to love them. There is a great cultural, intellectual and spiritual divide between them and me! The Synod is challenging me to set aside the limitations of my own upbringing and small world and to launch into the world of the young that is determined by demographics, history and gender.

A Triple Journey of Accompaniment

Recently, I read a small write up on how coach Gopichand turned a playful young person into a top sports star. “From a mischievous, unfocused boy to a fearsome warrior, Kidambi Srikanth has taken difficult but bold steps forward. The spark was always there but it took a coach in the quality of Pullela Gopichand to rein in the restless spirit in him and hone his talent into a top-notch player who can battle with the best,” writes Ratnakar. Many of us fear making this journey with the young. St. Paul would write to the young Timothy, “Never despise your youth.”

We forget that we were young too. We too had our own share of challenges and possibilities. We can rightly say that we are who we are because of those who journeyed with us through thick and thin. So, how do I start? Where do I begin?

The Synod invites us to make a triple journey with the young. Start with the anthropological (the human), move on to the pedagogical and finally lead them through the spiritual.

Anthropological Accompaniment: A Multiplicity of Worlds

Have you ever ‘journeyed with a young person?’ I don’t mean a physical journey, but one in which you accompanied a young person on his/her journey of life. The world I grew up in was far from the world of today. I suddenly realised that they live in a multiplicity of worlds all at one time: A ‘secluded world’ engulfed in loneliness and despair, a ‘virtual world’ of fantasy connections and illusions, a ‘competitive world’ of races lost and battles to be won, a ‘faith-centred’ world with beliefs to be lived and doubts to be clarified, a ‘relational world’ of friendships to be maintained and conflicts to be managed, a ‘socio-political’ world torn between political agenda and human rights, an ‘economic world’ with fast bucks to be earned and growing unemployment staring you in the face, and a ‘technological world’ that offers progress on one hand and creating a throw-away culture on the other.

Many worlds offer great possibilities and at the same time, many challenges too. The Synod on Youth in an invitation for all to understand this world of the young. Unless we have the young at the centre of our attention, this Synod will just be another academic venture, another meaningless questionnaire and offering solutions of yesterday for today’s altogether different scenario.

Pedagogical Accompaniment: A Learning Environment

On May 23, 2014, in Isla Vista, California, a confused 22-year-old Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree. He killed six persons and injured fourteen in a bloody scene that left everyone shocked. Elliot Rodger left a suicide note. He sadly summed up his life in three words, “My Twisted World”. I believe, this ‘twisted world’ could have been straightened out if there had been someone to walk beside him, to educate him, to lead him to celebrate life rather than to choose the destructive path!

Once we have made the breakthrough at the anthropological (human) level, we now need to take a step higher. Our journey with the young must be an ‘educational one.’ In a rapidly changing world, young people find themselves in a situation of fluidity and uncertainty, vulnerability and social unease, devoid of a personal identity and experiencing exclusion. In such situations, every young person needs a person of reference – a significant other in their lives. They look for one who can be close to them, credible, consistent and honest and to enable them to express empathy, offer support, encouragement and without being too judgemental, offering them an educational option.

As religious, persons formed after the heart of the Good Shepherd and with all our qualifications in the academic and psychological fields, a question I often ask myself is this: Have we created sufficient spaces and relationships with the young that are educational and vocational? Why do some young people today feel mistrust, indifference and anger towards our institutions? May be the answer lies in the fact that our educational journey with them was only ‘result-oriented.’ We have been myopic in our vision and mission with the young. We looked only at their days of ‘schooling’ and forgot the larger ‘school-of-life’ that is beyond the realm of examinations and results. Formation to conscience and living a value based life may have been traded for short term academic achievements and institutional glory!

We would do well to revisit their educational journey with the young. We need to accompany the young people as they make the transition to adult life and build their personal identity. Making a definitive choice today is one of the biggest struggles a young person faces. Today’s choices are reversed tomorrow. Commitments are shallow and easily broken. Education to make proper value based choices and courage to take risks is not an option. Pope Francis is with us on this journey. He too asks the question, “How can we reawaken the greatness and the courage of comprehensive choices, of impulses of the heart in order to face academic and emotional challenges?”

Spiritual accompaniment: Faith, Discernment, Vocation

Journeying with the young must culminate with proposals to experience the Divine in one’s life. God is at work in every young person, leading them to the ‘fullness of life’. While we begin with the human aspects of one’s life, and then lead them through an educational journey to discover their place in life, we need to finally lead them to appreciate the gifts of Life, Faith and Vocation which give meaning to who they are. I propose a few ways in which we can spiritually accompany young people:

1. Nurturing Faith and Vocation: Somehow, we have limited our opportunity to nurture the faith and vocational dimensions of our ministry with the young to mere Sunday school or a weekly catechism class. We prepared kids for the day of their First Holy Communion and for Confirmation but not to live a ‘life of faith.’ Faith no doubt is a gift from God, but we need to enable our youth to nurture this faith. Without faith, a vocational discernment is not possible.

Every Vocation is born in faith. The Bible presents us with numerous examples of young people responding to their vocation through a process of faith. Faith is being open to the action of the Spirit in me.

Vocation simply means to be called. Every Vocation begins with this simple question: “What is God asking of me? Where is God leading me?” Every Vocation is an interplay of three requisites: The Divine who calls, the Person called, and the Mission to which one is called. God never calls us for Himself! That would never be a vocation. A vocation is always for a larger humanity. The one called is only an instrument in the hand of the Divine. Every Vocation is a ‘call to love’ and to ‘experience the fulness of life’.

2. Gift of Discernment: The Synod on Youth places its primary attention on ‘Vocational Discernment’ rather than on Spiritual or Moral discernment. This is an invitation we as religious cannot ignore. We need to accompany young people to ‘make fundamental choices, in dialogue with the Lord and listen to the voice of the Spirit, starting with the choice of one’s state in life’.

Here is an area in which we fail quite badly. We have been so caught up in administrative roles that we have forgotten our pastoral duty of accompanying the young in this important discernment process. We have too often confused counselling and career guidance with spiritual direction. We therefore feel unprepared to encounter and accompany the young. A great part of our sense of ‘ephebiphobia’ (fear of young people)comes from the fact that we have not developed the art of spiritual direction! Vocational Discernment follows the triple path of ‘Recognizing’, ‘Interpreting’ and ‘Choosing’ and this cannot be done by the young person without the presence of a spirit-filled spiritual director.

A word on each of these three steps:

Recognising: Where is my real place in Life? Where is God leading me? There are numerous avenues open to the young person. One is caught and pulled in different directions. Providing moments of silence, pondering the Word of God, getting in touch with one’s inner self—these are useful stages in ‘recognizing’ the path being traced out by the Divine.

Interpreting: Here again, the young person needs guidance to filter out all unnecessary stirrings in one’s heart and to identify what the spirit is calling one to be. Patience, vigilance, knowledge, and confronting reality in the light of the God’s word are essential elements of the interpreting process.

Choosing: This last step in the discerning process requires authentic human freedom and personal responsibility. One cannot choose in a state of compulsion or desolation. Caught in a world of immediate and fast choices, how can one really choose and make a life-long commitment? Many Spiritual directors have shared with me their concerns regarding this last point. Young people go through deep moments of recognizing and interpreting, but when the final moment comes to make a choice, they stumble. They are afraid to take the risk, to make the final plunge! There is still an element of fear that blurs their faith. This is but natural. Choosing needs patience, persistence and perseverance. Doubt has always been the part of every vocational journey, mine and yours too.

3. Vocation and Mission: Years ago, at a first profession, the young novices chose the theme ‘Love Calls, Love Sends’. Every vocation has a definitive mission. There is no vocation devoid of a mission. The moment one loses focus on the mission, vocational fragility sets in. Abandonment of a vocation starts when love for the mission dries up. Young people who are caught up in a world of individualism cannot understand the logic of self-giving and mission. The church invites us all to make available opportunities for young people to serve, to reach out, to volunteer, to spend time in contact with the poor and vulnerable and to become imbued with the ‘smell of the sheep.’

4. Accompaniment: Vocational discernment was never meant to be a do-it-yourself-exercise. The church invites us all to accompany the young in this whole vocational discernment process. The Synod on Youth invites us to take up our primary call to be spiritual directors of the young. The preparatory document presents Jesus as the ideal profile of the person accompanying a young person in vocational discernment: a loving look, an authoritative word, an ability to ‘become a neighbour’, a choice to ‘walk besides’, and an authentic witness. This Jesus style is attractive, simple and yet profound too.

Practical Steps as Caring Adults:

1. Walking with the Young: The very first element in overcoming our ‘fear of the young’ is to take the first step towards them. Walk with them, literally! Don Bosco would give us a very practical way of breaking down this fear barrier. “Love what the young love and they will begin to love you!” Love truly conquers all fear. Put in other words, when what is important to the young, becomes important to me, then what is important to me will also become important to them. This means we learn and practice the style of Jesus. He walked with people on the road. The road became his pulpit, his confessional seat, his healing theatre, his dining table and his kingdom arena to share God’s love, mercy and compassion. Walking with the young is a powerful talk the young can understand.

Walking implies ‘Going Out’: The Church is never a closed door. Pope Francis, right from the start of his pontificate, wanted a Church that is on a pilgrimage with her people. The Synod on Youth is a challenge to us religious to get out of our ‘reserved selves’ and to embark on proclaiming the ‘joy of the gospel’ and the ‘joy of love’ in a more visible and credible way. The Church must come alive through us. The Gospel of Jesus is still attractive and appealing to the young.

Seeing: ‘What we see, is what we get’. I believe a lot of our ‘fear of young people’ will simply fade away if we are willing to spend quality time with them, to share the narratives of our lives, to listen to their pain-points and success journeys. When we spend time with them, we will see a beautiful part of their life-story and appreciate the young for who they are. They see in us a ‘significant other’ and open their lives for pastoral accompaniment. They need a caring adult they can trust.

Calling: If ever I took the time to discern my vocation, it was because there were several people who kept awakening a desire in me to respond to God’s invitation in my life. Everyone called, must become a ‘caller’. We need to ‘pray’ our part and to ‘play’ our part in awakening and creating a culture of vocation among the young.

2. Young People as Agents: We need to shift our perspective and see young people as agents (doers, not simply recipients). We need to make our parishes, hostels, educational institutions and youth centres much more youth-friendly and offer spaces and resources for the overall growth and formation of the young. The African proverb rightly says, ‘It takes an entire village to nurture a child.’ The Church is called to be a ‘responsible community’ in journeying with and for the young. Our pastoral creativity and pastoral intelligence need to be pooled together to make the young feel loved, cared for and accompanied by the entire Church.

3. Daily Life and Social Commitments: Young people need to be accompanied in every dimension of their life: be it relational, economic, personal, spiritual, formative and educational. The young need help to live out a spirituality in the practical details of daily life.

4. Resources: At the heart of accompanying young people in their vocational discernment, the church is blessed with immense resources that help deepen then journey. Art, music, sports, literature, drama, etc., are significant avenues where one can accompany the young. Leaving the accompaniment process only to a one-off-seminar or a classroom lecture will not only be limiting but in fact monotonous too. Offering the young infinite possibilities for personal growth and developments of one’s talents is the secret of a fertile ground for committed and passionate youth. Investing your time and resources in youth is never a wasteful opportunity.

Accompanying the young is always a wonderful interplay between education and evangelization. We just cannot disconnect the two.

A significant resource we often fail to provide young people is the gift of ‘silence’ and contemplation. In all my camps with the young people, ‘quiet time’ is always scheduled at an appropriate time. To the surprise of all, participants in every camp gave the ‘quiet time’ the highest rating. In a world that never stops talking or making noise, silence comes as a great welcome moment.

Mary of Nazareth: The Synod presents the young Mary as a model and inspiration. She opened herself to accept God’s call to the joy of love and the fulness of life. Hers was a journey of a young life in faith and open to the will of God. It was not a troubled-free journey. And yet, in faith and open to the spirit of God leading her, she became for all ‘blessed among all women’.

Finally, the Synod on Youth is an invitation to us all, especially the religious, to make qualitative changes in our own lifestyle, to courageously move out of our ‘ephebiphobia’ zone and to befriend the young. There is a whole generation of youth waiting to be loved and known. This is our ‘Kairos’ moment. Grab it and celebrate this significant ministry with the young—or lose the young for ever.

A missionary for 20 years in East Africa, Fr. Glenford Lowe, SDB is now Rector and Provincial Councillor for Youth Ministry in Mumbai. He is a kidney donor and well known for his creative style and retreat ministry among youth and religious.

The article is being carried with the permission from CRI Magnet